NJ Cops September 2016 | Page 30

FROM THE ASHES CONTINUED FROM PAGE 29 Different perspectives While the connection for Gorman is one of renewal and togetherness, for many of those whose memories of 9/11 spawned from tireless shifts on the pile, horrific images seared into their minds and traumatic memories of friends lost, different feelings weigh heavier. “It’s tough,” Nunziato summarizes. “It’s always tough. You never get distance. It never closes. It never heals. My friends and colleagues got murdered 15 years ago, and I don’t see closure at any point coming for my members that were down there day-to-day. They say time heals all wounds, but I think this is a hundred-year wound.” So only 15 years in, perhaps it’s still too soon for many PBA members to make sense of. “I still can’t believe it could happen,” Hulse admits. “Every time I see the Towers fall in the news, I can’t believe they’re falling. It’s a horrendous thing you try to make sense of, but you can’t because it doesn’t make sense. The killing of civilians and rescue workers by these filthy animals – these are innocent people who did nothing to offend anyone.” And on this 15th anniversary, Hulse considers what it means. “For the people directly involved, whether they admit it or not, and I do, I think about it every day,” he says. “Not a day goes by that something doesn’t remind you of things or haunt you. The nation heals and people come to terms with what happened. But the wounds for the people we lost, the people you miss, you’ll never forgive and never forget.” Collective resolution In the years after the 9/11 Attacks, NJ State PBA membership 30 NEW JERSEY COPS ■ SEPTEMBER 2016 flourished. “You had people jumping on board appreciating what we did,” Madonna reminds. “Guys stuck together and it showed that we’re a professional organization.” That professionalism inherent in law enforcement is what inspired members to give their all working the pile for months; it’s what keeps them strong while caring for family members of those lost that day; it’s what allows them to mourn and remember, and then return to the job stronger and more united than ever. “I don’t think you have to tell any cop in New York or New Jersey what 9/11 was about,” Nunziato assures. “This was Pearl Harbor in our backyard. It’s a sad day for police officers and a sad day for the country. And especially with the attack that cops are under in this country today, I think 9/11 brings back a river of unpleasant feelings. You don’t have the luxury of mourning when you’re at work because you can be the target of the next attack. We have a moment of silence the minute the Towers fell, but then right after you have to be ready to protect yourself.” It’s a harsh lesson that Gorman grew up learning. “It’s about understanding the police officer mentality,” he explains. “You don’t think twice about (going into a dangerous situation). You don’t think ‘Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.’ I’m sure my dad thought ‘Let’s just get the job done.’” So is the 15th anniversary of Sept. 11 the right time to focus on healing, strength and pride? “We never lost our pride,” Hulse concluded. “We’re the same people we were on 9/10, 9/11 and 9/12. The law enforcement community is a brave community and is always there with a desire to help people and make things better for others. It’s nothing that comes up once a year; that’s the way the members are all the time. Sept. 11, 2001, is a day to remember, commemorate and honor those lost on the most tragic day ever for law enforcement.” d