2016 NJ State PBA Convention – Phoenix, Arizona
THE LEGACY CONTINUED FROM PAGE 51 days. I bet you will stop your bitching and complaining.”
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“ I’ m not caught up in titles. Cops come by my table to get copy of my book and when I go to sign it for them, I ask,‘ What is your name?’ And he says,‘ Sergeant’ and I say,‘ Did your momma name you that? Do you have a first name to go with that title you hang on yourself because I’ m not impressed by that title. I’ m impressed with the man.’”
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Perhaps to make the point of never taking yourself too seriously as a law enforcement officer, Bobby recounted incidents of when he was first dealing with blindness how“ friends” would walk him into a women’ s restroom or steal food off his plate and replace it with cardboard. He laughed it off.
“ You see, my friends, we all have a purpose,” he explained.“ What is your purpose? When you get ready for bed, you have to face that man in the mirror and ask him the question,‘ What was your purpose today and did you achieve it? What is your purpose, my friends? Why did you become a cop? Why are you here?’”
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Being a guest of one of the largest law enforcement labor unions in the country was not lost on Bobby. He did his homework.
“ The speaker before me was talking about‘ Chapter 78.’ I still don’ t know what the hell he said. That’ s not on him. I’ m not that smart. I understand retirement. We all retire. What we need is to get a paycheck. We’ ve earned that. We need the people who represent us to have the guts to tell them,‘ Get your damn hand out of our pockets.’”
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Now, all of the above was merely the warm-up. Bobby was ready to get to the hard stuff, and he was about to make members uncomfortable for all the right reasons.“ We don’ t trust people. Why do we as cops not trust people?” Not a rhetorical question.“ Come on guys, talk to me.” Another dead silence.“ Because they freakin’ lie to us. People we arrest do it all the time, so we don’ t trust them. Why do people answer the way they do? If we could only trust mom and dad to put some boundaries in place and realize it’ s OK to say,‘ no’ to their children. They need to stop trying to be a friend. They don’ t need a freakin’ friend. They need a parent.”
Then came the first of the thundering ovations from the members.
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That piece of gospel led to this:“ When you go home, stop lying to your family.” Bobby could sense those in the room thinking they did no such thing. He probably heard them whisper as much.
“ I bet you lie almost every day. You come home after working murders, rapes, domestics, calls involving children and when you get asked,‘ How was your day mom or dad?’ You say,‘ It was fine.’ The truth is going to come out. Your cup is full. You don’ t need one more drop in your cup. You have all those dead ducks in your closet and they are going to stink up your life.”
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Trooper Bobby Smith loved to duck hunt. Even after he lost his sight he went duck hunting, until people wouldn’ t take him anymore. Not because he couldn’ t see. Well, maybe because he couldn’ t see. But because he would take 30 ducks in one hunt.
The metaphor about dead ducks in the closet asks when are you going to deal with all those things you have stuck in your closet, your junk drawer or your mind?
“ You wonder why you have lost your smile, your peace and your joy. How many of you have been asked,‘ Why don’ t you smile anymore when you come home?’ It’ s because of too many dead ducks that have not been appropriately dealt with. Not with a six pack of beer to try and numb the pain. It’ s a self-fulfilling prophecy: Big boys don’ t cry and don’ t ask for help. Some of you need to wake up before it’ s too late.”
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As a way to keep from ducking up anymore, Bobby implored members to go call their families, tell them that they missed them and they loved them. Several did. He added that would not be enough, that words are not enough, that behavior is the true indicator.
“ So I’ d like each one of you to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask that person in the mirror two questions:
“ Do I like that person based on my behavior and how I treat others?”
“ No. 2, do I have the courage and the guts to change for the better?”
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In closing, Bobby told members about the time in his life when he didn’ t have the guts. When he went to blind school and had such a bad attitude that he got kicked out. He told his friends to take him home. He didn’ t want to come out of his house and was set on what he called arrogant, self-centered, prideful, totally self-destructive behavior.
“ And then I realized, I’ m only human. I need some freakin’ help.”
So Trooper Bobby Smith went on for nearly two hours to leave members with his most important wisdom.
“ Some of you need to go home after this conference and apologize to your family for bringing a cop into your house too many times. And when they ask you,‘ Why all of the sudden are we so important in your life,’ tell them a blind man taught you to see.
And then the members sent Bobby off with a standing ovation loud enough to last a lifetime. d
52 NEW JERSEY COPS ■ OCTOBER 2016