A Message about Mental Healthcare
Why is it so difficult for
first responders to ask for help?
First in a three-part series on Mental Well-being
Part One: Awareness
The purpose of this series is to heighten
awareness and promote a willingness and desire
to consider making changes; to afford you, the
reader, an opportunity to challenge yourself and
make a decision to improve the quality of your
life. You are the only one who can change; no one
can do it for you.
Far too often, we wait until our marriages are
MICHAEL
on
the brink of divorce, our careers are in jeop-
BIZZARO,
ardy
and legal consequences are knocking at
Ph.D. LCSW
our door. Yet for many of us, this often comes as
a surprise. Although we may feel like these consequences ap-
peared out of the blue, in reality they have been growing in the
shadows of darkness, just waiting to corner us.
Consider the antidote: honesty. Secrets live in the darkness
but die in the light. Find a life coach or therapist, get into
treatment or find someone you trust. Call them whatever you
want, but find some avenue to free yourself of the bogeyman
that is keeping you hostage.
Why do we keep our pain a secret?
The culture of being a first responder often promotes in-
vincibility, honor, integrity and bravery. It frequently frowns
upon the idea that one of its own may be depressed, anxious
or traumatized and in need of help. Is this belief based on the
fear that this can happen to any one of us? Does denial come
into play in our unwillingness to consider the possibility that
this could one day be you?
Countless studies suggest that first responders experience
higher rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, PTSD
and many other psychological and medical issues than the
general public. This is in addition to the high rates of divorce,
domestic violence and other family-related challenges that
first responders experience.
We know all this, yet there still remains a barrier to seeking
mental health services. Why is that? Have we become a cul-
ture that frowns upon and is immune to the consequences of
being human? Every minute of every day, someone is either a
witness to or victim of some type of tragedy. Many are victims
of tragedy, while others are responders to tragedy. Either way,
both will be faced with the aftermath of dealing with the hor-
rors of trauma.
Why do some of us handle it better than others?
Denial doesn’t make it go away
We often try to convince ourselves that if we don’t speak
about it, then it didn’t really happen. Denial is a powerful
defense mechanism that is activated to protect us from the
depth of the traumatic experience. It is a double-edged sword,
in that it allows us to function in the midst of the traumat-
ic experience and buries memories deep within our psyche
and soul. Reliving those memories without having the skills
to manage them when they are re-experienced can cause se-
rious consequences.
Many of us will blame others and resort to various forms of
manipulating the truth to avoid facing the reality of the issue
that may be right at our doorstep. Taking responsibility for the
obvious consequences in our life takes courage and aware-
ness. Awareness without the willingness or desire to change
can be painful.
Take this challenge
You help other people every day. You have designed your
life around facing hard things and rescuing those in trouble.
You owe it to yourself to face the hard things in your own life,
and to be honest about the answers.
Ask yourself:
• Do I keep disturbing incidents to myself, rather than
acknowledging and sharing that I’m scared, or heart-
broken, or angry?
• Do I drink to change my mood so that I don’t have to
look at my pain?
• Do I respond with anger to my family, just because I’m
in a bad mood?
• Do I feel overwhelmed with responsibility at home,
with money issues, or with fear for my family?
• Have I ever called out because I was too tired or over-
whelmed to face another day at work?
If you answered yes to these questions, you are not alone.
Asking the questions and facing the answers requires bravery.
Michael Bizzarro, Ph.D., LCSW is director of clinical services
for first responder treatment services at Princeton House Be-
havioral Health. He can be reached at 732-771-7165. For ad-
ditional information about Princeton House services, call
Ken Burkert, peer support specialist, at 908-346-1691 or go to
princetonhouse.org/firstresponders.
www.njcopsmagazine.com
■ FEBRUARY 2019 65