NJ Cops Dec17 | Page 91

HEALTH & WELLNESS Happy holidays! (An order, not a suggestion) Maybe it’s just me getting old or hearing too much sadness for too long, but this year it feels like a stretch to get into the “holiday spirit.” While the rest of the world seems to be focused on vaca- tion time and holiday parties, my mind is on the spike in suicides or increase in crime rates that burden our New Jersey law enforcement. Loving Christmas and the New Year since I was a little CHERIE CASTELLANO girl, I am determined to force the spirit. I find the idea of giving is the best medicine for Cop2Cop the holiday blues. Being a “Secret Santa” to a fam- ily in need, helping disabled kids or the elderly or simply for- giving those I struggle with breeds the spirit of the holidays for me and those around me. As a law enforcement family, cops, spouses and kids will all hope for some peace this holiday sea- son — both in the community and in our homes. Another gift we can give ourselves is the gift of reflection, to ensure that we are self-aware, a key to resilience according to recent studies. The holidays are a time to decompress, reeval- uate where you are in life, and cultivate your relationships, es- pecially with family. Take the necessary steps to put your own sanity and mental well-being first before taking care of others. (PsychCentral2017) Don’t compare yourself to others. Your life is unique, so don’t measure your own worth by comparing yourself to those around you. Even regarding yourself as better than your peers is detrimental to your happiness, as you’re fostering judg- mental feelings towards others and an unhealthy sense of su- periority. Measure your own success based on your progress alone, not that of others. Engaging in upward and downward social comparison on either end of the spectrum is not an op- tion to enhance your self-esteem, because it will backfire on you. Surround yourself with positive people. The saying “mis- ery loves company” is entirely trite, but nonetheless true. That’s why you need to choose friends who are optimistic and happy themselves, as you will be surrounded with positive energy. It is this type of energy that will bounce directly off you. Toxic negative people will leave you feeling drained and hollow, and physically/emotionally/mentally unable to move. These people are called emotional vampires, so try to steer clear of them. If that’s not a realistic option, at least limit your interactions with them if you can. Realize that you don’t need others’ approval. It’s important