Seniors ’ Housing
Till Death Do Us Part ?
Keeping Couples Together in Their Final Years
Cheryl Mahaffy | Article & Photo
Until my father ’ s hip broke , no one really knew how much care he was giving to Minnie , his wife of a decade and constant companion , or how far her memory loss had progressed . By the time Dad returned to their apartment after surgery , Minnie was gone — moved to a nursing home .
In many ways , Dad and Minnie were more fortunate than many separated senior couples . Rather than living hours apart , they were in the same sprawling complex . He could reach her room by traversing a winding set of hallways — which he did , faithfully , until she died in 2018 . He may even have felt some relief to leave her in others ’ care every night . But she hated being apart . Repeatedly , she ordered Dad to find a house so they could sleep together as couples should . When he said good night , often after a companionable evening of baseball with the Minnesota Twins , she would sob and beg him to stay .
Many Alberta seniors experience similar anguish as shifting care needs force partners apart . I think of a friend whose father moved into long-term care just before COVID-19 struck , dogged by dementia . He has since died , leaving his daughter to lie awake at night wondering whether she could have made his last days more bearable ( and perhaps even staved off his passing ) by somehow making it possible for her parents to stay together . I listen to Michael Phair , a leader in the Edmonton Pride Seniors Group , speak of partners for whom separation in care is made worse by bias against LGBTQ2S + relationships . I ’ ve often thought there must be a way for more senior couples to continue living together if they wish . It turns out I ’ m not alone . The Alberta Association on Gerontology recommends “ supporting the ability of couples to age together .” Alberta Health , which is developing a new legislative framework for continuing care , has identified this challenge as “ an important focus ,” according to Communications Director Zoë Cooper . In at least
two other Canadian provinces , legislative action is already underway to guarantee some or all life partners the option of living together in care .
In Nova Scotia , a Life Partners in Long-Term Care Act took effect this March , giving partners who are both eligible for long-term care the right to live together in a provincially funded facility that offers the highest level of care they require . In Ontario , a Till Death Do Us Part Act , modeled after legislation in Sweden , has passed second reading and awaits committee review .
Sweden amended its Social Security Act in 2012 to give people who have lived together for an extended period the right to move into supportive housing together , even when only one of them qualifies for care . In the years since , Joy Torgé of
20 | arta . net