From the Editor
Margaret Sadler | Editor-in-Chief , news & views , nveditor @ arta . net
It ’ s all right to cry Crying gets the sad out of you .
— Carol Hall
You ’ re familiar with those two things of which we can be most certain — one of them being death . In youth , death is often sudden and unexpected . With age , losses grow more usual , more anticipated . The older we get , around each corner we are met more often with death .
Not a cheery topic , but a real one for all of us . In every issue of news & views , the In Memoriam pages mark the passing of colleagues . Few of us have lived this long without major losses of colleagues , friends , or family .
More and more often , what were once called funerals are now called “ celebrations of life .” Indeed , such events are opportunities to give thanks for well-lived lives . But grief cannot be denied . Sadness at the loss of these good people must be recognized , accepted , and acknowledged . We need time to sit with sadness . Sadness will help get us through this loss .
One of the sorrows of COVID-19 is the limit on gatherings for funerals . On the other hand , livestreaming the ceremonies has become a blessing of COVID-19 since people from far afield can attend , even participate , in ways they could not have previously . But the in-person sharing over the egg salad sandwiches — the opportunity to recall stories and memories mingled with laughter and tears — is a healing activity , individually and communally . Stories we all know , memories never previously shared , and observations
considering the span of a life are all the pieces that help put us back together to go on living without our beloved , our dear friend , or the company of colleagues who have attended us into retirement . Grief goes with us along our road .
My brother just celebrated his 80 th birthday . He is very much alive but facing Alzheimer ’ s disease . He had asked for a party — quite unusual for him ; COVID-19 prevented that , of course . What we were able to do was gather greetings , memories , and anecdotes from sixty friends and family members into a “ newspaper ” of memories . Once we had this wonderful collection , it felt to me like a draft eulogy . These memories may slip from his mind over the coming years , but they are preserved here until we say a final goodbye . We will remember the good man he was , even as we watch him leave us little by little . Around each corner is another possibility of loss .
Watching movies that bring us to tears is like rehearsing for grief closer to the heart . Neuroscience * even tells us that crying boosts endorphin levels and increases our capacity for emotional pain . Crying , sometimes seemingly uncontrollable in grief , is a great reliever of pain while at the same time allowing us to feel the pain .
Our goddaughter , told not to cry at the loss of her grandfather , corrected the minister who addressed her , assuring him that it was okay to be sad that she would not see her grandfather again .
Around the next corner , we face delight as young family members and little friends add joy to our days even while we face the grief that naturally will come .
* For example , see the neuroscience article in The Guardian , 21 Sep 2016 , “ Watching sad films boosts endorphin levels in your brain , psychologists say ” and in The Psychologist of the British Psychological Society , 7 Nov 2017 , “ Why do sad movies make people happy ?” news & views SPRING 2022 | 9