A Doppelganger’s Dilemma
Journal excerpt 13/15/1368 A.G.P
I grow weary from all the lies. Every day is filled with more deceit. What was I thinking? What a foolish thing to impersonate one’s own friend! Now I can’t escape this false life. So, I have decided to keep a journal as to retain some form of honesty in my day.
Again, I must ask myself “What was I thinking?” for it would have been better to accept my lot of death than to go on living like this. Curse this wretched doppelganger’s cloak! It was just too easy to take the painless route out with this arcane device, and now I feel stuck. For if I reveal myself, I will be killed like the rest, but if I go on living like this, I will die daily. Maybe I’m not even me any more… for if everyone thinks I’m dead, am I truly alive? Who am I now?
If only we had won the war of the seven! Yes, if only Malĭvolt had not been lost in battle! If only the Norand empire’s propaganda hadn’t worked! For the corban and ashiaf are now hated… we are now hunted… I suppose that’s why I hid… yes, I ran and hid in the shell of my fallen friend’s life. Why did we not win? Was our cause for freedom not worthy of Azron’s blessing? Perhaps Azron foresaw my betrayal and punished me. Oh, what a lying rotten cowardly doppelganging ashiaf I am! Have I brought destruction on my friend’s heads because of my deceit?
Perhaps I should let my quill rest for my grief has only increased, not decreased like I had hoped. Yet even as I say this, I continue to write… I just… No. I must keep talking. It’s torture to pretend to be someone I am not and not have a single soul to confide in!
(continued)