I C F C H E N N A I C H A P T E R Page 5
C O A C H I N G E X P E R I E N C E
I L O V E T H E R E F O R E I A M
Recently I met this beautiful young woman all of 35 from Delhi, we both were in the same hospital and got to know
Shyleswari Mohan each other, I was, still am amazed at the courage and take – it- easy attitude that she has. Taking herself seriously
and not her problems. Hers is a typical Indian story,
She fell in love when she was in high school, outraged parents got her married to the first boy / alliance they could.
From an urbanized young girl to a small village in Rajasthan.
A complete culture shock, she never understood the dynamics of a large joint family, after a two years of
depression she fought her way to study, did her graduation living in several relatives houses.
Got a minor job, again studied, after having her first child, all the time managing in laws, husband, child and work,
this time she got a job in an IT company as Quality Assurance. Now she has forgiven her in laws and forgotten their
misdeeds, moved on, She takes care of them while she says“ I am not overly fond of them, I do have to care for them,
else my children will think that is the norm”. This not a rare story – yet I was touched by the attitude – growing up
from a teenager to a manager. I am often thinking about Love and Life and questioning my habits of love. I thought
about am I living in love the right way, and what areas of living in love do I need to work on.
The existentialist says,“ To be is to do”.
The first thing is to act and create spaces that enable loving experiences. To love I need to be an active participant,
there lies the path that will lead me to grow.
Second aspect of love, it needs to create personal growth, Obama he says that Michelle and his children supported him
and thereby his growth was even more.. That is so true. not only for him, but for most of us in some way or the other.
Third, we need to remember that we need to be open to love to accept it.“ Real love is dedicated to continual
be coming,” and each love grows at its own rate and by closing off love, we take longer to accept the help and love we
deserve.
It is crucial to be“ aware that each changes at his own rate,” That all some people need, is a push in the right
direction. To me this young woman chose love even though she was rudely transplanted, and gave it its due importance
in her life.
I see immense similarities in our coaching – the attitude building, the love we share, the openness, enabling such spaces,
and of course giving it the due importance in our own life.
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