I C F C H E N N A I C H A P T E R Page 5
C O A C H I N G E X P E R I E N C E
I L O V E T H E R E F O R E I A M
Recently I met this beautiful young woman all of 35 from Delhi , we both were in the same hospital and got to know
Shyleswari Mohan each other , I was , still am amazed at the courage and take – it- easy attitude that she has . Taking herself seriously
and not her problems . Hers is a typical Indian story ,
She fell in love when she was in high school , outraged parents got her married to the first boy / alliance they could .
From an urbanized young girl to a small village in Rajasthan .
A complete culture shock , she never understood the dynamics of a large joint family , after a two years of
depression she fought her way to study , did her graduation living in several relatives houses .
Got a minor job , again studied , after having her first child , all the time managing in laws , husband , child and work ,
this time she got a job in an IT company as Quality Assurance . Now she has forgiven her in laws and forgotten their
misdeeds , moved on , She takes care of them while she says “ I am not overly fond of them , I do have to care for them ,
else my children will think that is the norm ” . This not a rare story – yet I was touched by the attitude – growing up
from a teenager to a manager . I am often thinking about Love and Life and questioning my habits of love . I thought
about am I living in love the right way , and what areas of living in love do I need to work on .
The existentialist says , “ To be is to do ”.
The first thing is to act and create spaces that enable loving experiences . To love I need to be an active participant ,
there lies the path that will lead me to grow .
Second aspect of love , it needs to create personal growth , Obama he says that Michelle and his children supported him
and thereby his growth was even more .. That is so true . not only for him , but for most of us in some way or the other .
Third , we need to remember that we need to be open to love to accept it . “ Real love is dedicated to continual
be coming ,” and each love grows at its own rate and by closing off love , we take longer to accept the help and love we
deserve .
It is crucial to be “ aware that each changes at his own rate ,” That all some people need , is a push in the right
direction . To me this young woman chose love even though she was rudely transplanted , and gave it its due importance
in her life .
I see immense similarities in our coaching – the attitude building , the love we share , the openness , enabling such spaces ,
and of course giving it the due importance in our own life .
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