Newsletter (2017-2018) May 2018 Newsletter | Page 12

Self-Exploration
By Qinxin Fan
With the constant and unpredictable changes in
life, I have always tried hard to fit into new en-
vironments and learn from different people. The
complexity of life has made me realize that liv-
ing in this era of sophistication and versatility,
one of the hardest things is figuring out answers
to questions related to what we think about our
lives––the decision to move to a different city,
the choice of future career, the change of attitude
towards life... Trying to answer “Where am I?”
and “Who am I?” is never simple. Self-explo-
ration has been an important part of my life,
through which my mind has grown stronger
and more peaceful.
Observing what is happening around me, I be-
lieve that we are living in a conditioned world.
We are conditioned to believe what we are told
at school and through social media, not to think
independently. Following social norms seems
to be the right thing to do. We have been told
that men should speak out while women should
learn to filter before talking. We have been told
that teachers should possess gentle and peace-
ful personalities and avoid showing aggressive
and thoughtful opinions about political or social
issues. We have always been told to follow the
rules to look normal instead of strange. Even
though we are independent individuals in the
society, we unavoidably establish interdepen-
dence with others, and it is important to fit into
a group. Establishing connections with others is
important for preventing loneliness, especially
when we are in a place where we do not origi-
nally belong. However, in the process, we may
gradually lose our independence and unique-
ness. On one hand, people want to fit into the
society by making friends, finding a job, or ac-
complishing any practical goals that can make
life better. On the other hand, we have no time
or chance to think about who we really are and
what we really want.
While being occupied with numerous tasks
since entering university, I did not accomplish
anything that made me feel that my life is mean-
ingful and fruitful. I realized that my goal and
my understanding of myself were unclear. Try-
ing hard to fit into the environment has pushed
me to do things that other people like. I joined
student associations, established friendship with
a lot of people, and found a sense of belonging in
Hong Kong. The turning point came after I de-
cided to go on exchange by myself. Exploring a
Cherry blossoms in bloom at the Stockholm Kungsträdgården. Qinxin took this photo while she was on
exchange in Sweden.
MAY 2018
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