China, if two festivals come together, we often celebrate them together and have a bigger party so as to keep this good luck forever.
On my way back, I bought a bouquet of flowers and a thank you card for Claudia. She was totally astonished and moved when I gave her the gifts. With tears in eyes, she said this was the best birthday and Mother’ s Day she had ever had. I found out that neither of her two children came back on that day; they just sent thank you cards to their mother. As a mother, it was easy for me to understand Claudia’ s feelings after receiving gifts from me, someone who has no biological relationship with her.
Blair enjoyed her time in Cambridge, England. Pictured here is the tranquil River Cam.
A similar situation occurred in UK which once again totally changed my view. When I studied in Cambridge this last year, I lived in a homestay near Malvern Road. My hosts were an elderly couple whose children already left home and lived in London now. The mother was a very nice person who was good at cooking. She cooked delicious meals for me every day and talked to me about her children when I was free. She also put many photos of her children on the walls and showed them to everyone who came to her house. Obviously, she is a lovely mother who loves her children very much.
That year, Mother’ s Day fell on March 23rd in Britain, and thank you cards were exhibited in the stores as well as supermarkets. I thought that the holiday was celebrated in the same way as it is in China. We usually celebrate with our mother on that day and send a thoughtful gift to show our love. So I left the homestay very early on that day in order to give Claudia private space to celebrate the festival with her children, based on the experience in USA. Also, that day happened not only to be Mother’ s Day but also Claudia’ s birthday, which was just a lucky coincidence. In
I asked Claudia why her children did not come back home to celebrate with her. She told me that this is part of British culture, because children do not fully belong to their family after turning 18. An adult could choose to celebrate festivals with whomever they want and do not need the permission of parents. I was totally astonished after hearing that. If I did not celebrate my mother’ s birthday with her or send her a well-prepared gift, she would delete me from WeChat! Even if she did not delete me, my family members would judge me for not coming, and I would feel guilty for what I have done.
Traveling and living in different countries has taught me various things. The most important thing is that I have learnt how to respect different cultures, customs and habits. Not to judge them, just to respect them. Culture is a reflection of a country. Everything has two or more sides, including culture. Learning to respect differences is the first step to embracing the world.
Blair is a mother of a three-year old boy. She is passionate about parent education and hopes to utilise her experience and knowledge to improve parent education in Mainland China.
JANUARY 2018 10