money on the purchase of their
gig calendars. While the pianists
have to buy thick, expensive
daily planners, trombonists only
require the “Year-At-A-Glance”
type. (rimshot)
“What’s really sad is the lack
of respect musicians display for
each other. The other day some
hot-shot composer asked me,
‘What do you call someone who
hangs around with musicians?’
Answer: A drummer. He told
me that his drummer friend had
just taken an I.Q. test, and when I
asked what he got on it, he said,
‘Drool.’ (rimshot)
“I have to wrap things up now,
and anyway, there’s a drummer
knocking on the stage door. The
stage hand says he can tell it’s a
drummer because the knock is
getting faster.
In all fairness though, ladies
and gentlemen, it’s good that
light bulb jokes are out of fashion and won’t have drummers to
kick around anymore. Nobody
today asks how many drummers
it takes to change a light bulb.
But if they did, the answer would
be NONE! They have machines
to do that now! (rimshot)
“ You’ve been a great audience!
Thank you. Goodnight!”
(END OF ROUTINE)
So...what do you think? Shall I
give up my day job?
Rosemary Conte is a singer,
voice teacher, lecturer, and hypnosis therapist based in Matawan. She welcomes questions
and comments via email.
Here’s your
rimshot!
2015 - ISSUE 6
TABLE OF CONTENTS
145