HEALTH
We need to be honest about
who we are and accept
ourselves as completely as
possible, including the things
we think are ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’.
So how do we learn to respect ourselves if we are
not yet, in society’s terms, beautiful, fit, talented,
or wealthy?
It is no small feat to be a surviving Human Being
in our present society. In fact, it is amazing! Nobody but you knows what your experience has
been. Gaining self-respect involves recognizing
the effort you have put into living your life, no matter your present circumstances- acknowledging all
of the time and energy you have spent struggling,
loving, hurting, suffering, discovering, working,
succeeding, failing, and feeling frustration, joy and
disappointment in order to be alive in the present
moment. Notice that there is no mention of culling
only the ‘good’ parts of your life for examination.
All of your life has had value!
Take obesity, for example. In today’s society, most
overweight people feel badly about themselves
because of a perceived notion that they are somehow ‘lesser than’ because of their weight. They try
all kinds of diets to shed pounds and beat themselves up when they gain them back, sinking lower
and lower into self-disrespect. What a tremendous
shift there would be if, on the other hand, they
were to add up all the pounds they had lost and
gained, the money they had spent on weight-loss
treatments, the time spent worrying, feeling isolated and depressed and said to themselves, “Wow! I
am amazing! How wonderful that I can invest all of
that emotion, energy, and time into trying to feel
better! I have actually demonstrated tremendous
ability!” The self-respect they would gain with that
recognition would be the impetus for true, lasting
change. Remember, self-respect precedes success!
Self-respect requires that we give ourselves credit
for our efforts, without exception. One might say,
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“Yes, but I know better.” Knowing is not enough; we
only do what we have learned. If we had learned
better, we would have done better. We need to be
honest about who we are and accept ourselves as
completely as possible, including the things we
think are ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’. We might hear, “That’s
crazy! If I accept myself, nothing will change.”
Though it may seem counterintuitive, finding the
value in respecting ourselves even for the ‘bad’
choices we may have made paves the way for positive change. Respecting ourselves does not necessarily mean that everything is the way we want it;
it is a decision to accept and honor ourselves as we
are so that we can move forward positively!
FINDING LOVE OR SELF-RESPECT DOESN’T
NECESSARILY INVOLVE CHANGING ANYTHING
IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT THIS MINUTE. IT INVOLVES FINDING THE COURAGE TO GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR ALL OF THE REMARKABLE
EFFORT YOU HAVE PUT INTO LIVING, REGARDLESS OF YOUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES;
KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE DONE THE BEST
YOU COULD HAVE DONE BASED UPON WHAT
YOU HAVE LEARNED UP TO THIS POINT. READY
TO CHANGE? TRY COMING FROM A PLACE OF
SELF-RESPECT AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE FIRST.
IT WILL MAKE ALL OF THE DIFFERENCE, BECAUSE IT IS TRUE THAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL
NOT TREAT US ANY BETTER THAN WE TREAT
OURSELVES. WE ATTRACT PEOPLE INTO OUR
LIVES WHO MIRROR OUR PERCEPTION OF
OURSELVES. GIVE YOURSELF RESPECT, COMPASSION, AND GRATITUDE, AND IT WILL BE RETURNED.
Dr. Denee Jordan, PSY.D is a licensed Clinical
Psychologist and M \