New Consciousness Review Spring 2015 | Page 32

HEALTH R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Find Out What It Means To You Advice on your most important relationship from psychologist Dr. Denee Jordan We’ve all heard it, “You have to love yourself before you love anyone else.” Actually, this isn’t true. In fact, most of us love other people much more easily than we love ourselves. Frequently, we even love our pets more easily. However, though we can love others without loving ourselves, the truth is our relationships are much healthier when we do. We can’t feel true contentment unless we learn to love, and even more importantly, respect ourselves. When we do not respect ourselves, it manifests in all of our relationships. I t can manifest as irritability, hyper-sensitivity, or being overly critical of other people. All of our interactions are distorted to a certain degree, but it is our own happiness that is impacted the most. Respect is considered a key element in any loving relationship, including self-love. Self-respect, however, is a learned skill that many people are never taught. We are taught that we should have self-respect, but not how to get it. Too frequently the belief is that we can earn self-respect by making enough money, pleasing others, getting promoted, losing weight and so forth. In actuality, the opposite is true; self-respect is the precursor to success. Respect is considered a key element in any loving relationship, including self-love. 32 | NEW CONSCIOUSNESS REVIEW