friends if you do whatever I command you.” It was an analogy about a vine and
the Lord said: “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I
in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”
The significance of the vine is that the Lord is talking about conjunction
of a person from the spiritual church with Him. (See Arcana Coelestia 1069:5)
This is important to know because a person from the spiritual church is
reformed by truths in the understanding, as opposed to good in the will, as
was the celestial Most Ancient Church.
Therefore, the first order of business for a person of the spiritual church is
to learn the truths of the Word which will form his faith, and so aided by truth
come to recognize the difference between good and evil. (See Arcana Coelestia
5113:2) So the first step in having conjunction with the Lord, dwelling with
Him, and becoming His friend, is to learn the truth of the Word. We must
study the vine!
Consequently, the first step in forming any genuine friendship is to study
the Word and distinguish between what is acceptable conduct and what is not.
How many people today would consider that a prerequisite for any genuine
friendship?
Now just knowing the truth does not make a living faith, but a dead
one. And a dead faith does not produce charity. Charity, or love toward the
neighbor, is the principle love of the spiritual church. (See Arcana Coelestia
1069:5) Charity can only come into existence if faith is lived. When the truth
is applied to life then the vine “bears much fruit.”
So the second step in forming genuine friendships is being charitable, or
living according to your faith. Being genuinely charitable comes in two steps.
The first of charity is to shun evils as sins against the Lord, and the second of
charity is to do good deeds which are of use to the neighbor. (See Charity 1;
True Christian Religion 435)
This is also a startling new concept about friendship. The primary element
of genuine charity and friendship is not to do evils that would harm that
person; the second is to do good and useful things for them. Not surprisingly,
this takes us right back to the Ten Commandments. One tablet, concerning
duties to our neighbor, consists of the “You shall nots”: you shall not murder,
commit adultery, steal, bear false witness, or covet.
And we are told in the Writings for the New Church that conjunction
can only be effected by the Lord if a person first does what is written on His
table. Roughly paraphrased in simple English: The Lord cannot help join us
to Himself or to our neighbors and friends unless we shun those evils as sins.
If you reflect on this idea, the truth of it seems obvious. We cannot really
say we love the Lord if we can’t even treat the people directly around us
decently – with respect, caring and concern. So it is only after succeeding in
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