Friendship in Marriage
The Rt. Rev. Brian W. Keith
Lessons: Genesis 2:18-24; Matthew 19:1-12; Conjugial Love 214
Friendship is, so to speak, the face of [conjugial] love and also its garment; for
friendship both attaches itself to love like a garment and combines itself with it like
a face. Conjugial Love 214:2
J
ohn Dunne, the famous English poet, once said, “No man is an island.” We
can think of ourselves as rugged individuals, and we do need to follow the
Lord and shun evils on our own initiative. Yet our relationships with others are
absolutely essential for a human existence.
This is seen with our family and friends, but most importantly in marriage.
This is the bedrock of our lives. The marriage of one man and one woman is the
full embodiment of love to the Lord and the neighbor. Even if never married,
people can prepare and look toward marriage in the spiritual world. And even
if a marriage ends in the tragedy of divorce, the will to join with someone else
in this relationship endures.
This is because marriage is different than any other human relationship
that we can have. It draws two very different people together, each contributing
complementary traits that create a larger whole than any individual could
achieve alone. Also, we did not choose our parents, siblings, children or
coworkers. But marriage is freely chosen with two people saying: “I want to
become one with you, and make your life into mine.” It has a fullness and
completeness, satisfying one of our deepest needs which cannot be found
anywhere else.
Considering this, it is amazing how little is said in revelation about
marriage. The Old Testament speaks of two becoming one in Genesis, but no
further explanation is given. A few laws are given governing marriage – who
could marry whom and who owned property – but polygamy was rampant, as
seen with Abraham and Sarah, and Jacob with Leah and Rachel.
In the New Testament we might expect more, but how much is taught?
The Lord quotes the Old Testament about two becoming one, but again, there
is minimal, if any, explanation. Although the Lord did speak politely to women
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