new church life: september/october 2014
We may feel like we
have a right to be angry,
depressed, discontent
and bitter because
circumstances give us
ample justification.
In contrast, the Lord
encourages us to see
that we have a right not
to be angry, depressed or
discontent with our lot.
Getting to the point that we are
led by the Lord and not by our natural
heredity doesn’t seem easy. Doing what
comes spontaneously seems far easier
than making an effort to do something
different.
One psychologist tells the story
of a young woman who was very
troubled, partially because the way her
family interacted with each other was
unhealthy. He tried to help her see these
destructive interactions and encourage
her toward a healthy response.
Finally, the woman proudly
described recognizing a problem
arising at home, seeing its true quality,
and reflecting on what she wanted
to do in response. The psychologist
congratulated her and said that with some more practice she would be able to
do this all the time.
The woman was horrified and said, “You mean I have to think this hard
all the time?” It sounded like a tremendous burden to her. But from your
perspective which would be worse: being driven by the unhealthy responses of
people around you, or having your mind working on seeing what is real, true
and good in those situations?
At first, anything that comes naturally seems to be easier. For example,
which is less stressful: erupting with angry words when you lose your temper,
or trying to respond in a constructive way to the situation?
For many people, lashing out may seem far easier. It can seem like a heavy
burden to contain an angry response. But which is the greater burden: the
result of lashing out at someone, or the result of an effort to respond more
usefully?
Imagine a day spent lashing out over and over again. Now imagine one
in which you tried to respond constructively to frustrations. How would you
feel at the end of the first day, compared to the second? How would you look
forward to the next day from those two different perspectives?
We may feel like we have a right to be angry, depressed, discontent and
bitter because circumstances give us ample justification. In contrast, the
Lord encourages us to see that we have a right not to be angry, depressed or
discontent with our lot. He would like to lift the burden of these responses
from us.
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