spiritual influence on others.
As a working dad I do not think
prioritizing family means I should drop work
or be constantly available for my kids. What
it means to me is that when there is a direct
conflict between work and home, home wins. I
do not involve myself in everything my family
or kids do, but I do try to think through the
most important things I could be doing and
prioritize providing them. Do I get an “A” on
follow through? Nope. But they get a lot more
from me than if I didn’t hold them as a priority.
Referring back to Conjugial Love 156, the
goal of parenting is to produce angels. Getting
clarity on what parenting priorities are has
helped me to make wiser choices in how I
raise my children and make decisions for their
well-being. For example, is it going to matter
spiritually and eternally if my children never
play soccer? Is it going to matter spiritually
and eternally if I never read the Word with
them? Which habit is going to matter more –
prayer or soccer practice?
Playing soccer can and should be evaluated in the context of spiritual and
moral development. And, yes, I believe soccer can contribute to these. There
is a cultural tendency to evaluate activities and opportunities through the
filter of “providing experiences.” I think our societal obsession with providing
experiences for our children perpetuates parenting that feels like a treadmill
in high gear.
I offer two simple questions to use when you are evaluating:
1. Is this activity important to their spiritual development right now?
2. Would not doing this slow their growth as a spiritual and moral person?
For most things, the answers are going to be no and no. This doesn’t mean
drop it, but it does mean you could drop it and still get an “A” in good parenting.
You have permission to simplify your family schedule.
So you may be wondering: do I think that relationships without children
are less-than, or that people who are unmarried cannot contribute? No. And
Yes. No, because there is a value in relationships without children. And yes,
because these relationships are not fulfilling their purpose.
It may be by choice or it may be situational, but the ideal is that marriage
No one in our
culture rewards
great parents.
It is in career
or hobbies that
society really
acknowledges the
value of a person.
But in the Lord's
eyes success as
a parent is the
greatest success
you could have.
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