new church life: march/april 2015
more than we often give ourselves credit for. One passage in the Heavenly
Doctrines lists some of the things that the Lord asks parents to teach their
children, which is within the grasp of all: “There is God, and He is one,” “He
created everything,” “there is a hell and a heaven,” “people ought to pray every
day…, keep the Sabbath day holy, honor their parents, and not commit adultery,
kill, or steal.” (Arcana Coelestia 5135:3) It may not be in formal settings, but
conversations about the Lord and the things of spiritual life are a wonderful
way to serve in the use of New Church education. It ties in with one of the ways
of framing that use, namely to open the eyes to spiritual realities.
7. Preserving innocence. Interestingly, the teaching that speaks to this
dimension of parenting talks about it in a progressive sense, namely that a kind
of childlike innocence recedes over time “as children gain knowledge and are
able to act on their own independently of their parents.” (Conjugial Love 298)
Nevertheless, the openness to being taught and guided, and the willingness to
comply with parental directives, can form a powerful seedbed for an advanced
type of innocence that is willing to be led and guided by the Lord. (See Heaven
and Hell 341) The point is to do what we can to preserve an openness to what
is good and useful and wholesome, and to lead away from, or even at times
protect kids from, what is hurtful and destructive. This is in keeping with the
guardian angel concepts we addressed earlier.
8. A healthy concept of marriage. You may have heard the saying, “the
greatest gift a father can give to his children is to love his wife.” Without
implying that all marriages are perfect or even work out, there is power in
hearing the Lord’s call to parents to pass on a healthy concept of marriage to
their children. This is done by parents who “shun adulteries as hellish, and
love marriages as heavenly.” (Apocalypse Explained 1002) Certainly there is
much we can model in terms of healthy interactions, even when there are
disagreements. And most parents find themselves striving to provide helpful
guidance on healthy relationships between the sexes as their children grow.
9. Indelible marks of goodness. The Heavenly Doctrines use the term
“remains” or “remnant states” to describe times when something heavenly
touches the life of a person. The Lord stores up that positive experience, and
uses it as a storehouse of spiritual energy in the person’s life, inspiring them to
want those good things again. Parents are asked to provide the environment in
which many of these heavenly touches can take place. One teaching describes
them as “states of love toward parents, brothers and sisters, teachers, and
friends; states of charity toward the neighbor, and also of compassion on the
poor and needy.” (Arcana Coelestia 561) It does not take much imagination
to see how parents can cooperate with the Lord in this way, by leading their
children to do kind things, by fostering healthy family relationships, by
building warm family memories, and the like.
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