New Church Life Mar/Apr 2014 | Page 87

    To avoid further harm to oneself, one can get more support, through private caregivers in the home, Hospice groups, a best friend or family member to provide respite. Either way, I found the Good Samaritan story helpful for me – for supporting the life of a family member or one I care for as a professional – to have peace within myself. (3) “If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall fall on me, even the night shall be light about me...’” (Psalm 139: 9-11) Psalm 139 reminds me that the Lord’s support is always available to me. As a caregiver, I strive to be available to those I care for, in gentle, unseen, or cheerful and outgoing ways, depending on that person’s state. I stopped by a gem shop recently in Arizona, and met a young woman who did spiritual readings for people there. Tammy (name changed) shared a story about her mom, who had some form of dementia. Tammy sometimes met with great resistance when she tried to help her mom bathe, dress or eat well, or get involved in conversation. She soon realized that these times of resistance came when her mother was spending time in the spiritual world, trying to finish her time on earth. When she “came back,” she apologized to Tammy for her belligerence. Tammy realized her mom was fine, even if it didn’t look like it to her, and that she needed to let her mom go. She did, and the resistance eased, from both sides. When Tammy’s mom died, she knew she was content, with no more tug of war between worlds. We may imagine those with dementia are in darkness, because they can’t always share what’s going on for them. This story brings many experiences back to me as a caregiver, that I didn’t always get to see what was going on for a person, but I knew things