n e w c h u r c h l i f e : j u ly / au g u s t 2 0 1 5
Swedenborg’s Suicidal Urges
Swedenborg himself had suicidal urges. He wrote: “I wanted to kill myself with
a knife. This desire grew so strong that I hid the knife in my desk.” (Spiritual
Diary 4530) This feeling was the result of a woman who had hated Swedenborg
during her life in this world. She carried that hatred into the spiritual world
and there she tried to get revenge by inspiring him to kill himself. Swedenborg
also mentions spirits who apparently tried to make him step in front of a
moving vehicle or jump off a bridge. (Spiritual Diary 253, 1043) This reminds
me of the demon-possessed person who would throw himself into the fire or
try to drown himself. (Matthew 17:15)
From this we can see how useless and even hurtful it can be to blame
suicide on the individual who kills himself, or on the person’s family or
friends. It’s possible that we are at fault for harboring evil desires that draw
such evil spirits to us, but it could also be something that is completely out of
our control and not at all our fault.
Better to Die Than to Be Drawn Away From the Lord
I suspect that some people may commit suicide because they see their life
headed in a bad direction and feel it would be better to die than to be drawn
further along the path to hell. Consider this experience that Swedenborg
relates:
When any wish to lead astray the spirits of that earth, and draw them away from
faith in the Lord, or from humility toward Him, and from uprightness of life, they
say that they wish to die. Then little knives are seen in their hands, by which they
seem to wish to pierce their breasts. When they are asked why they do so, they say
that they would rather die than be led away from the Lord. Sometimes the spirits of
our earth laugh at these things, and infest them with questionings why they do so.
But they answer that they know very well that they are not going to kill themselves,
and that this is only an appearance proceeding from the will of their mind, showing
that they would rather die than be drawn away from the worship of the Lord.
(Arcana Coelestia 8950)
These spirits knew they would not kill themselves because they were
already in the spiritual world, so they could not die. If they had been alive in
the natural world, might they have possibly killed themselves? I don’t know,
but I suspect a similar kind of motivation enters into some suicides in this
world.
Giving Up Your Life to Find Life
All of us, in order to come into heaven, must in some sense be willing to
voluntarily give up our lives. We must be willing to give up the life of selfishness
and materialism, which is the death of our selfish and worldly desires.
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