New Beginnings Catalog 2025 1414 Stepping Stones | Page 14

Embracing the Beauty of Unique Personalities in Parenting

Embracing the Beauty of Unique Personalities in Parenting

by Sally Clarkson
14
As I enter my seventies , I reflect with gratitude on my four children and growing number of grandchildren . Watching my grandchildren develop their unique ways of being in the world brings me great joy . With the benefit of experience , I ’ ve learned to appreciate and celebrate these differences . However , I often hear from parents grappling with this reality for the first time :
“ How can I get my child to change ? I try so hard to shape their character , but nothing seems to work .”
Beneath such questions lies a common longing : “ How can I get my children to behave the way I want them to ?”
This desire for control is natural . Parenting often feels like an attempt to bring order to chaos . Yet , clinging to the expectation of control can lead only to frustration .
The Impossibility of Changing Personality You can no more change a child ’ s personality than your own . Each child is a wonderfully complex creation , uniquely designed by God . Just as flowers display infinite colors , shapes and scents , people express boundless variations of personality and potential . God delights in this diversity , and it is part of our faith to see the glory in His varied creation .
These differences can inevitably lead to conflicts — between siblings , or between parent and child . Yet , it is possible to cultivate an environment where each individual feels understood and valued . This begins with recognizing that every personality is motivated differently . Learning these motivations is key to building harmony and fostering relationships .
A Framework for Understanding and Love As parents , my husband Clay and I committed to studying the unique design of each of our children . From this understanding , we sought to create a family culture of love , acceptance and respect . This didn ’ t mean abandoning training or discipline ; rather , we established a framework of shared family values .
Acknowledging individuality does not mean forgoing universal principles . When children feel understood , they are more likely to trust their parents and listen . This trust creates space for cultivating harmony , rather than demanding conformity .
From the start , our goal was to reach our children ’ s hearts , not simply modify their behavior . By affirming and accepting their personalities , we built a foundation that allowed us to call them into a fuller vision of the values we wished to instill . This approach made it possible to guide their growth without erasing their individuality .
The Reward of Time Now that my children are grown , I marvel at how their childhood personalities remain part of who they are today . They have matured into fascinating , well-rounded individuals , yet the quirks and traits that made them unique as children still shine through .
Looking ahead , I wonder what stories my grandchildren will write . Though I can ’ t foresee every detail , I ’ m certain they will continue becoming more of who they are , expressing the beauty of their God-given design .
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Filled with biblical and life-learned wisdom for helping kids become and enjoy being the person God has designed them to be . Paperback $ 16.99