Often , what you ’ ve classified as urgent can wait a few minutes for you to rest , catch your breath and compose yourself
Here are some of the recurring thoughts that interfere with my selfcare intentions :
• I haven ’ t done enough today so I can ’ t rest yet
• If I don ’ t do [ insert chore / task ], nobody will
• My partner is already doing too much
• It needs to be done now .
Here ’ s the reframe :
• I am doing enough , I am worthy of rest
• I am allowed to delegate tasks - my partner , family and friends want to help and support me
• My partner has told me many times that he wants to help wherever possible
• It can wait .
Fact-check your thoughts
One of the main obstacles to taking time for self-care is a sense of urgency around tasks , that ‘ It needs to be done now ’.
Ask yourself - is it urgent ? Does it absolutely need to be done right now ? Often , the answer is no . If the answer is no , then , it can wait . This is what I tell myself when I ’ m breastfeeding and I want to do some work on my phone . It can wait . It ’ s not urgent .
Often , what you ’ ve classified as urgent can wait ( at the very least ) a few minutes for you to rest , catch your breath and compose yourself . I ’ m not saying ditch your to-do list and sit on the couch all day . We all have responsibilities . I get it . We just need to give ourselves some breathing room between our commitments . We need to give ourselves permission to press pause , instead of trying to cram as much as we can into every minute of every day . It ’ s just not sustainable .
Schedule it in
We ’ ve all used the ‘ I don ’ t have time ’ excuse before . It certainly feels that way when we ’ ve overcommitted and over scheduled ourselves . The truth is , you do have time . You ’ re just choosing to spend it on other areas of your life .
The question is , what are you spending it on ? Are you saying yes to everything and everyone , except yourself ? Something has to give . And it shouldn ’ t be your wellbeing . If 10 minutes a day is all you can manage to begin with , work with that . If you can carve out a larger chunk on certain days , do that .
Scheduling self-care activities , whether that ’ s an evening walk at 6pm or a morning stretch at 6am , will bring you one step closer to pressing pause more frequently . You ’ re more likely to commit to activities you ’ ve proactively scheduled because there is zero decision fatigue involved . The time , activity and location has already been worked out . Again , you probably use this advice with your clients with regards to exercise , so apply it to yourself with regards self-care .
Get an accountability partner
As a fitness professional , you understand only too well the value you provide your clients in terms of accountability . Sometimes , we all need a gentle nudge from someone else to help us on our self-care journey .
That person might be your partner , best friend , brother , sister , mum or dad . Whoever it is , it needs to be someone you trust . They need to wholeheartedly support your intentions and be able to give you a gentle push when old habits get the better of you .
The benefit of having an accountability partner is that your intentions are no longer private . Somebody else knows , and that somebody is going to check in and ask you whether you ’ ve done what you said you were going to do . Your social reputation and perceived reliability is at stake . Therefore , you ’ re more likely to uphold your intentions .
Edit your environment
Create an environment that encourages rest . Let the objects around your home serve as reminders to take time out for you . Think candles , incense , yoga mat , journal and essential oils .
Display visual reminders of your values and intentions everywhere ( think desk , bedroom wall , bathroom mirror ) so that you can continue to prioritise what ’ s important to you and live by your values . These visual reminders might be in the form of quotes , phrases , post-it notes , magazine cut-outs and / or wall art .
For example , I ’ ve got the phrase ‘ Gently does it ’ on my bedroom wall . It ’ s my morning reminder to approach the day with a slow and steady mindset . I also have this quote by Brené Brown strategically placed in my home : “ It takes courage to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol .”
Set recurring reminders
Setting the intention to practice self-care is a good start . However , remembering to do it can be tricky , especially if this whole self-care thing is a new habit you ’ re trying to build .
Set recurring reminders on your phone to help you stick to your intentions . I have one that pops up on my screen every morning at 10am reminding me to ‘ Take a deep conscious breath . Relax your shoulders . Release all tension .’ It ’ s a simple yet effective way to build some pauses into your day .
As we reach the end of a stressful year you may be considering some resolutions for the new one ahead . By making self-care your intention for 2022 , you ’ ll reduce the risk of suffering exhaustion and burnout , and set yourself up for a more balanced , calm and productive new year .
Mel Morony Alex is the co-founder of Melbourne-based Saint Belford , alongside partner Tomas Stanford . The pair created Saint Belford diaries to remind you that your wellbeing is your most precious asset and making it a priority is the best investment you will make in this lifetime .
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