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The difference between empathy and sympathy may feel
subtle, but in reality, they’re a world away from each other.
• not making assumptions about what’s
going on for Brett (your sister has a
baby so you know it all)
• listening (and we mean really listening)
to what Brett’s saying
• walking a mile in his shoes.
When learning how to empathise with
clients it’s crucial to be aware that empathy
isn’t the same as sympathy.
Sympathy is:
• feeling sorry for him
• thumping him on the back and moving on
• about how you’re feeling, and not about
how Brett is feeling.
The difference between empathy and
sympathy may feel subtle, but in reality,
they’re a world away from each other.
Here’s how you do empathy:
• slow down your interactions with Brett
• make eye contact and listen carefully
• ask questions about what it’s like for him
• picture the chaos he’s faced with at the
end of the day, and the demands of his
work
• think about what that would feel like if it
was you
• let him know you’ve heard (really heard)
and you understand
• and sure, thump him on the back if you
must, but not until you’re confident that
he knows that you ‘get’ his situation.
The environment of empathy that you
create for Brett is an important part of what
will keep him coming back when the s*&t
hits the fan at work and at home. Empathy
will make him feel cared about and valued.
He’ll know he’s not just another dollar to
you, because empathy has allowed you to
forge a strong connection.
In the next issue, we’ll focus on honing
your listening skills so you can gain the
maximum information about your client
and tailor your interactions and program to
his needs.
Kate Swann and Kristina Mamrot are Melbournebased psychologists specialising in treating
overweight and obese clients. For information on their
books The Ultimate Guide To Training Overweight
And Obese Clients, and Do You Really Want To Lose
Weight?, visit YourWeightLossExperts.com
NETWORK SUMMER 2014 | 11
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