Nothing will make you a better
listener than learning to tune out
the things happening on your
phone and in your surroundings
when a client is talking to you
THE QUICK READ
• Take responsibility for nurturing trust
and rapport with your client and give
them your undivided attention
• Listen to everything that your client
says and watch your client’s
nonverbal behaviours when they
communicate with you
• Pre-emptive coaching mechanisms
that can help your client get through
the inevitable difficult phases will be
very valuable
• Teaching your client about goal
ownership will empower them to
realise that they always have the
option to choose differently
• Help your client get in the habit of
celebrating their victories along
the way
• Always be mindful of your
communication when things are
particularly tough: there is never any
excuse for unkindness, so if you ever
feel out of your depth, referring out is
the ethical choice
• When a client feels stuck, you can
help get them get moving again by
reframing a situation in a way that
will increase their ability to make
objective assessments and decisions
about it
• Drilling down on the specifics of a
problem can help your client pull
back from overwhelm, identify the
true issue, and work their way out of
the problem space.
discussed, but this is something worth revisiting. What your client
chooses to tell you, how they phrase what they say, and what they
choose to omit can give away a lot about where the client is at. The
more effort you have put into building rapport, the more they will feel
they can be open and honest with you. The more they feel that you
truly care about what they have to say, the more effectively you will
be able to help, because they will feel comfortable enough to open
up and share personal information.
Pay attention to nonverbals
We do not only listen with our ears – we also listen with our eyes.
Watch closely whenever your client is talking, as their nonverbal
behaviours will also be telling a story. For example, somebody who
suddenly starts to sway or shift from foot to foot repeatedly when
they were previously quite still might be nervous or stressed about
what they have started to speak or think about. Somebody who
starts to look away, at their watch or toward the exit might not be
comfortable with the current topic of discussion.
Check whether you are reading the room right
You will not always correctly interpret a client’s body language, but
if you spot something, bring it up in a non-confrontational manner to
help continue guiding a conversation forward. Even when incorrect,
your client may clarify and will at very least see that you are trying
to understand and to help, which can also nurture rapport. For
example, with the client who starts to sway, you may say something
like ‘I notice that you seem a bit more restless than a moment ago
– do you feel stressed when you think about this?’. If this is the right
interpretation, the client will feel more deeply understood, which may
help the conversation progress. It may even help the client have a
moment of realisation about how they feel about a topic, that they
were not completely in touch with beforehand.
Check yourself before you wreck the connection
Our own body language says a lot about how we are listening. If
you’ve ever spoken to someone who kept looking over your shoulder
or at their phone, you’ll know only too well how unimportant it makes
you feel. Look at your client and have your body turned towards
them. Nothing will make you a better listener than learning to tune
out the things happening on your phone and in your surroundings
when a client is talking to you.
This is the point at which many people will bring up the concept
of ‘mirroring’ your client’s behaviours, but anything staged is not
genuine and a client who is attuned to your body language will
immediately lose trust if they realise that you are putting techniques
on them. It may sound less fancy, but it is far more authentic to simply
give your client your total and undivided attention!
When the going gets tough
Once you have established a trusting relationship with your client,
they will likely reach a moment where they either get stuck or fall off
the wagon – to a degree at least. There are many things that you can
put in place along the way to help them navigate through the rocky
waters when they do hit them.
Celebrate the little wins
Many people are not well accustomed to seeing, let alone, celebrating
their smaller victories on their path to a bigger goal. Health does not
really have an endpoint, but rather happens in phases, so it can
feel exhausting and relentless if it is just an endless tunnel of work
52 | NETWORK SPRING 2020