PERSPECTIVE : REFLECTIONS OF INDUSTRY LEADERS

Why , asks life coach Greg Sellar , is there such disparity between what we know we should do , and what we actually do ?

I can ’ t get enough of trying to figure out why people ( including myself ) are the way they are and what drives their thinking and behaviours . For me , it ’ s the single biggest factor affecting how a person performs and it pervades all areas of life – from how we function in our daily lives , to how we raise kids , act as colleagues , manage as leaders and contribute as partners .

When the going is good we fire on all cylinders , making it great to be alive . When we ’ re not , we ’ re hopelessly caught in a cycle of anxiety , stress and inner rage .

Most of what you read in articles not unlike this one could be taken as common sense . Social media is littered with advice to ‘ take time for you ’, ‘ don ’ t sweat the small stuff ’ and ‘ have the courage to fail ’. Whatever the various messages , you know you should do more of what they ’ re telling you , but for whatever reason you just don ’ t .

Why ? Why can ’ t we do more of what we know is good for us ? We ’ ve got people smoking despite knowing it causes cancer , an obesity problem despite an abundance of health and fitness options , and stress levels so high they ’ re set to become our biggest global health concern above cancer in the next two years . If it ’ s common sense , how dumb are we ?

There ’ s nothing common about it . The Knowing-Doing Gap is a neat summary of why , despite knowing how to move towards higher performance , we don ’ t . We know we should be better as human beings , but we don ’ t do anything differently most of the time . Instead , we revert to type , lashing out at ourselves or others and continuing the endless self-flagellation that only confirms and compounds our problems .

This is by no means an exhaustive list , but here are five key reasons why we have our own Knowing-Doing Gap :

1 We fall into combative mode too easily

It ’ s quicker and easier to lash out physically or verbally when challenged or threatened . When you mistakenly think every situation has a winner or loser , you ’ re in a zero-sum game .

2 We oversimplify issues

When we ’ ve got multiple problems happening at once , we roll them into a lesser problem to disguise them . This means we don ’ t pay enough attention to our issues to get them sorted . If it wasn ’ t a problem , we ’ d be operating at 100 % Rockstar capacity all the time – and we know that ’ s not the case .

3 We divert with drama

We convince ourselves that our circumstances are unique to us and that nobody could possibly understand them . Cue tears , sarcasm , shouting , silence , outrage and offense-taking . It ’ s not helpful to get dramatic , and only shifts our attention away from necessary action .

4 We think time will heal all

Nothing in the Knowing-Doing Gap gets better because you throw more time at it . Time allows things to fester , grow and grind you down . If you think you ’ ve got issues now , try doing nothing about it for 6 months . What do you expect to be different in that time ?

5 We lose sight of the bigger picture

We forget life is a long game . Thoughts of instant fame and fortune reinforced by social media fakery cause us to live beneath a constant sense of time running out . If you operate with this impending sense of doom , your anxiety levels will hit the roof which can lead you to add to your woes with more poor habits , such as drinking too much , smoking , and comfort eating junk food .

It ’ s hard to close the Knowing-Doing Gap quickly . In fact , you can ’ t . When you ’ re pushing back on a lifetime of excuses and habits , the best you can expect is to get started . Bit by bit you chip away at the thinking and behaviour issues you face and close the Knowing-Doing Gap . You ’ ll fall off the wagon , but that ’ s OK . Getting back on and keeping going closes the gap even further . What other choice is there ?

Greg Sellar is a keynote speaker , corporate trainer and ICF-accredited professional coach . He works with corporate and individual clients helping them think better and succeed faster . For more details or to purchase Greg ’ s 30-day LIFEHACK program , visit gregsellar . com

NETWORK SPRING 2018 | 7