The use of the other ‘w’ and ‘how’ questions,
combined with a sense of genuine curiosity,
will often reveal much deeper motivations,
which when accessed can help create
enormous behavioural change in your
clients – to feel more confident, to feel more
capable, to respect their own body enough
to take care of it and therefore practice self-
love. More in-depth explanations of these
techniques will be provided in a following
Network article.
Let your client drive
THE QUICK READ
• Active listening will help you connect
with your client and understand what
they want – not just what you think
they want
• Open-ended questions will help you
obtain more detail by encouraging
more elaborate responses
• Checking ambiguous pieces of
information
can
help
avoid
misinterpreting what a client means
• Do not use the question ‘why’ to
unearth clients deeper motivations, as
such direct questioning can stump a
client and bring the conversation to a
standstill
• Do not offer unsolicited advice –
always respect the autonomy of the
client and seek permission before
sharing your thoughts
• Be selective with the information that
you provide on a discussed topic – only
the most relevant 1-3 points will really
help the client, and more than that can
be overwhelming
• Always write everything down – our
ability to retain information is not as
great as we think it is.
38 | NETWORK AUTUMN 2020
choose moments when your mind is not
preoccupied, so that you may be completely
present in the discussion.
Seeking clarity
A client will not always be entirely clear
in their delivery, and as a trainer, it is your
responsibility to seek that clarity. Do not
make assumptions about what a client
meant when they explained something
to you, but rather check in to confirm. If a
client says something ambiguous you might
either mention that you did not follow what
their meaning was and ask them to explain
further, or you might check in with your
assumption to see if you are on the right
track or not – ‘I think you are saying… am
I following correctly, or did I misunderstand
and did you mean something else?’. Open-
ended questions, will encourage the client
to further elaborate on things you are still
unclear on.
‘Why’ isn’t always easy
Although every client will have an underlying
‘why’ that brought them to you, they will not
necessarily be aware of, or know how to
articulate, exactly what it is. There is nothing
wrong with just asking why they are there,
but more often than not the answers you
receive will just be what lies on the surface:
to lose weight, get strong, play with the kids.
Your client is coming to you for your
knowledge and expertise, so it can be
tempting to provide as much information
and advice as possible. While this may seem
helpful, it can actually overwhelm a client
and, in some cases, damage the bond you
are working hard to establish. Unsolicited
advice can make your client feel intimidated,
and strip away their autonomy in the goal-
setting and action-planning process. It
places you in the driver’s seat, turning them
into the passenger, which can in turn lead to
their disengaging with the process, because
they don’t own it. It is not wrong to offer
advice – it just requires the additional step of
seeking permission from your client first so
they can decide whether or not they would
like to hear it. Their granting permission
places them in the decision-making role and
therefore makes them the driver and owner
of the goals being discussed.
Don’t overwhelm
Once permission is granted, however, it does
not become a free-for-all. Less is more in
this situation, because overwhelming clients
with technical or physiological information
can make them feel like they might not be
capable of understanding the ins and outs
of their goals. This tendency to become
trigger-happy with excessive details about
our knowledge-base, often referred to as the
‘expert trap’, may feel helpful but usually just
becomes a wall of information that a client
shuts down to.
This information overload positions you
as the expert, whereas you should rather be
seeking to empower your client so they feel
that they are the expert of their own journey.
This can help clients not only engage more
with the process, but also feel more capable
of achieving their goals. Your prowess as a
trainer will become apparent as they reap
the benefits of your training: as the saying
goes ‘show me, don’t tell me’.