Naleighna Kai's Literary Cafe Magazine November Edition | Page 8

Angelia Vernon Menchan
A
Woman
First
O
ne of the hardest things in my marriage was
getting my husband to see me as me, not
just his wife or his son’s mother but me. I realized it
the first time when I moved to Kansas after we got
married and he refused to add my maiden name as
the middle name on my military ID card. He was in the
Army and how he filled it in was what stood. It wasn’t
a huge deal, but how adamant he was, became one.
We went back and forth for several days, and I lost
that skirmish.
“Baby, this is a small thing that means a big thing
to me,” he said when he slid into the bedroom. I went
to bed earlier than him which was unusual. We had
only been married a month, and sex was twice a day.
“You’re my wife and just like that ring, having my
name means ... you’re my wife.”
I had already made the argument that it would be
Angelia Vernon Menchan but that didn’t cut it.
If we start allowing ourselves to be
manipulated or ‘caged’ that
is often our life.
8 | NKLC Magazine
“Okay, you win.” He started kissing me and let me
tell you, “Baby” was name enough.
Perhaps that wouldn’t work as well for every
woman. Maybe the name thing is so important
the marriage isn’t viable. If for any reason, that is