So, finally, I answered, “They prepared this child
in the way she should go...”
I recall when I went to work at fourteen, and I
was going on and on to mama about what the
lady I worked for had said, Mama looked at me
in that way she had and said, “Angi, that is all
well and good, but don’t let that white woman
fill your head with a bunch of foolishness. There
are a lot of things you can and will do, but the
one thing you can never do is change the brown
skin you’re in.’ And she said it—hard!
My feelings were slightly singed, but there were
so many times over the years, I had to thank my
mama, for “keeping it so real.”
Then there was my aunt Elouise who would just
jack you up, out of nowhere and remind you
where you came from. She would make you
homemade biscuits or sweet potato pie, but
baby, she would cold-cock you with her cutting
wisdom. Her motto was, “no matter what your
man’s got, take your ass to work.”
My godmother, on the other hand, thought I
was the “Chosen One” and made no bones
about it. She was there when I was born and
helped wash that proverbial ‘veil’ from my
face. She would give me the man talks, “Don’t
take no wooden nickels and sex should be as
pleasurable for a woman as a man …”
“Daughter, you look real good in those tight
jeans, but you’d better make sure what kind of
message you want to send. Because I know you
think it doesn’t matter now, but one day you will
need to be more than fine.”
“Girl, that is really a cute handbag, but you know
doggone well you cannot afford that when the
light bill is due and Christmas is coming.”
“Child, love him all you want, but love yourself
more. And when someone, anyone, tries to get
you to do anything that is not right for you; and
if they say, you would if you love me, say, ‘H*ll to
the no …’ and get gone.”
“Son, pull up your pants when you go on a job
interview. I know that’s the style, but you need a
job not prove to anyone how hip you are.”
Because I kid you not, if we just give them the
sweet stuff and none of the bitter, they are
going to be so unprepared for the world. The
world is not going to mollycoddle them.
But remember they also need some sweet with
the bitter. The goal is not to beat ‘em down but
to build them up, realistically…
Be PEACE! #JustLOVE
Angelia Vernon Menchan
I miss those women who loved me soft and
hard.
Now as a mother, mentor, grandmother, friend,
et al., one of the hardest, but necessary things is
when I have to pull off the gloves and just say it.
Because we are not good mothers, mentors, or
friends if we always say what they wish to hear.
We have the responsibility to tell the loving
truth . . .
“We have to say, son, I love you, I do, but you
need to get a damn job! Also, don’t make any
more babies you cannot raise.”
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