Naleighna Kai's Literary Cafe Magazine NK Literary Cafe Magazine - April 2018 Issue | Page 69

prayer, every affirmation, every word of advice—and
the many of them that came personally in my inbox. I
called my sexual abuse counselor that evening though
she had a host of people in the car, she pulled over to
take the call. I knew she didn’t have a lot of time and
summed up the issue in one sentence.
She came back with some, if not all, of the advice
that the people on my timeline said. “It’s not your
fault.” “Don’t take that burden on. It’s not yours to
carry.” “Don’t let his mess become your mess.” “It is
the predator who is at fault.” I love her, and those FB
Friends, for reinforcing what I knew, but couldn’t feel.
My counselor said, “Even if you had said something
then, they might not have believed you, the same
way they didn’t believe her. You have enough to deal
with without taking on something that isn’t yours
in the first place. If you want to take something on,
then think about how many women you have helped
through telling your story in your novels. Take that
on. Think about how many you can continue to help
by writing, sharing and being courageous enough to
be vulnerable in front of the entire world. Take that
on. Do not take on this guilt. It doesn’t belong to you.
I’ll call you back when I get home …”
That weekend was a “clearing” for me. I started the
laundry and had a load in the washer. Then, I went
through every stitch of clothing I owned to justify
that it stayed in my closet. I went through papers and
cleared out stuff as I do this every three months. Well,
it hit me, that just like when a person has clothes in
the washing machine and they take them out to put
them in the dryer, it leaves the washing machine open
to take on another load. Getting that information last
night—right after I had cleared out all of my clothes
and prepped the papers for a purge, was like God
putting in the next load for me to deal with.
Truthfully, if I had found out the situation with
that young victim when it first happened, I would not
have been ready. The emotional washing machine was
already full of other stuff that had to be cleaned first. I
don’t think I was ready that night either, but it came,
it’s there and I’d been processing all night and the
next day. It’s hard, but not as hard as it would have
been if it had been heaped on, on top of the load
that was already in.
So it’s the situation is washing right now. I’m still
purging—have to hit the utility drawer and then
tackle the books in the basement. All the while,
mentally and emotionally, this new issue needs to be
cleared. The anger at my aunt. The anger at myself.
Washing, clearing, and I know it to will hit rinse,
spin, and then to drying—and possibly make it on
a hanger.
Though people say social media is all about drama
and bad news—you all have proven time and again,
that’s it’s also a spiritual and emotional support that
some might need in the moment.
Naleighna Kai is a national bestselling and award-winning
author of several controversial novels, contributor to a New York
Times bestseller, and the E. Lynn Harris Author of Distinction.
She has penned Every Woman Needs a Wife, Loving Me for Me,
Was it Good For You Too?, Open Door Marriage, She Touched
My Soul, Rich Woman’s Fetish, and other contemporary fiction
novels that plumb the depth of unique love triangles and
women’s issues.
In addition to successfully cracking the code of landing a
deal with a major publishing house, she continues to “pay it
forward” by organizing the annual Cavalcade of Authors which
gives readers intimate access to the most accomplished writing
talent today. She also serves as CEO of Macro Marketing &
Promotions Group which offers aspiring authors assistance with
ghostwriting, developmental editing, publishing, marketing,
and other services to jump-start their writing careers. he was
born and raised on the Southeast side of Chicago, the setting
for most of her novels and where she is currently working on
her next books: Slaves of Heaven and Mercury Sunrise.
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