conviction in my heart that she was actually going to come this time because it was my birthday . I sat the whole day . She didn ’ t come , call , or write . I realized that the same things I was telling myself about this man I ’ d fallen for were the same words I ’ d said when I was that little girl longing for her mother to keep her word . I had told myself I was not important . No one loved me . I was unlovable , I was not good enough . Those devastating moments as a little girl became my reality as an adult . I went to bed crying that night and had for so many others .
Later I began to read the chapter on forgiveness in the book Tapping the Power Within by Iyanla Vanzant . I did the forgiveness exercises and they changed my life . In my evolution of forgiveness , I found that I had to first acknowledge my pain . I had to process it — meaning recognize that it was valid and not consider it wrong to feel a certain way . Then I had to get to the root of why this same experience kept showing up in my space so often .
Only after spending some time with myself and exploring the origins of my PAIN ( an acronym for Pay Attention Inward Now ) could I move into forgiveness , releasing and letting it go . When a person goes to the doctor , the doctor first has to listen to the symptoms , gauge the issue , and decide the best course of treatment , then put that treatment into action . That ’ s what we , as spiritual beings , have to do when it comes to spiritual and emotional pain . Explore why the pain exists ; gauge why the issue keeps recurring , find the best course of action to treat the symptoms — prayer , affirmations , meditation , etc . Then put the treatment plan in place .
The biggest part of the lesson was that forgiveness is not a destination , it is a journey . In my journey of forgiveness , I found true forgiveness comes from the heart . My job is to constantly do the work to Forgive . Maybe , it is yours too .
Janine A . Ingram is the founder of “ The Love Journey . Inc ,” author of Born to be Rich , master speaker , filmmaker , radio personality and transformational life coach . She volunteers in human trafficking and domestic violence shelters and offers empowerment workshops teaching forgiveness , inner child healing , loving yourself , finding your purpose and living your dreams as well as vision board classes .