shine and watch her soar. It’s in those holiday
cookouts and dinners you host as a family, which
always end up with rooms and rooms of laughter,
music, and hugs (We might throw some bones or
slap some spades too). It’s in the movie nights,
the board games, the junk food nights, the group
hugs. It’s the heartfelt love through good and bad.
The joy is in the way my wife looks at me, like
I am the sexiest beast alive (even when I know
after looking at photos that I am now more “Dad
bod” than “stud”). The joy is causing that spine-
tingling arousal because I know that one special
spot on her that only I can reach.
The joy is also laughs. Randomly gathering
in a room just because you want to be near each
other and cracking jokes on each other (Note: In
a moment of ultimate confirmation, as I took a
break from typing this paragraph, we did this very
thing!). Laughing and riffing on some Instagram or
current event. It’s laughing at each other’s flubs,
flaws, and blooper moments because we don’t
just know each other’s heart, we are each other’s
heart. The stories we make up when we are
people watching while on an outing. It’s laughing
at the corniest of jokes because it came from your
family and you know exactly why that person told
that joke. It’s that hearty belly laughter because
it was elicited so naturally from you. The joy is in
losing all sense of shame just to get a laugh from
my wife and kids!
But most importantly, to me, the joy of being
a husband and father is exhibited most through
the pain. It’s watching my wife go through
immeasurable pain and agony (twice!) just to
bring a piece of me into this world. It’s in kissing
my girls’ skinned knees and letting them know
they will always be okay. It’s in having my wife
greet my every morning and end every night with
a hug, kiss, and encouragement when I have gone
months looking for a job to support the family. It’s
in watching the girls console and encourage each
other through tough times. The joy is in wanting
The joy of being a husband
and father is life. It’s a
lifetime of memories you
share, from the day you met,
to “I do,” to the very first
time you hold your child.
to be the one to ease the pain from every hurt,
every rejection, every setback, and every stumble.
It’s in never wanting to see my wife hurt or cry
alone. It’s in offering love and support for each
other when one experiences loss.
The joy I describe is based on events that are
particular and personal to me. But I think everyone
can conjure moments and memories in their lives
that exhibit aspects of joy that I try to describe
above. Ultimately the joy is in the moment, good
or bad. Live in that moment. Always strive to
find the joy in those moments, whether you are
responsible for providing the joy or are basking in
it. Be present. If you do, you too will experience
the joy of being a spouse and parent.