joys of being a spouse and parent . What does that look like ? Anybody who is a committed spouse and / or parent knows that it is not easy . It takes work . And money , lots of money ( for those who are curious , my kids are currently $ 489,395.59 in the hole ... per kid ). There is nothing harder to accomplish — or redeeming — than being a good husband and father . I have done many things of which I am proud . I grew up on the west side of Chicago ( yes , that west side that everyone hears about in the news ) and managed to go to Stanford and Northwestern Law School . But there is nothing more gratifying or rewarding than my relationship with my wife and kids .
Is the joy in the work you put in to have a happy spouse and family ? Nah . That ’ s just hard work . Rewarding ? Yes . Joy-inducing ? Not so much . Is joy derived from seeing your spouse and children achieve ultimate success ? Nope . As I say to my family all the time , I expect their successes , not their failures . That is what you are supposed to do ! That is what you work so hard for in the first place ! Besides , there are other considerations . You can do everything the right way and say all the right things at every turn , and your kid or spouse can still go in a different direction . Nothing is guaranteed ! Will you not be able to derive joy if your wife and children are unsuccessful ?
So where is the joy ? Reading those first couple of paragraphs might make you think that marriage and children are for the birds . But before you take that anti-depressant ( side effects may include inability to swallow ), there is light at the end of the tunnel ( no Loony Tunes train … I promise !). The joy is hard to describe and varies for every person , but it is a type of joy that is felt in the deepest way .
The joy of being a husband and father is life . It ’ s a lifetime of memories you share , from the day you met , to “ I do ,” to the very first time you hold your child . It ’ s the goofy selfies and videos we do together as a family . It ’ s the family trips , the laughs in the kitchen over breakfast . Joy is celebrating graduations , proms , the milestone anniversaries . Joy is watching my girls ride their bikes without training wheels for the first time . The joy is being able to experience and share these moments surrounded with love . Joy is getting my boogie in with my wife and kids on Saturday mornings while making pancakes ( and trying to figure out which of my wife ’ s and kids tunes I need to add to my iPod ). Joy is taking a pause from typing this article because my youngest daughter wants to hang and watch the NBA Finals with me .
The way my children view me as everything right and good in this world so unconditionally that it makes me strive to be exactly what they see .
The joy of being a husband and father is also love . The way my children view me as everything right and good in this world so unconditionally that it makes me strive to be exactly what they see . It ’ s being able to look into my wife ’ s eyes and see the very first time I heard her voice . It ’ s having people around you that believe in you infinitely more than you ever believed in yourself . The joy is in the long silent hug — because it ’ s the only space you can imagine feeling loved and safe right in that moment . It ’ s watching my now teen girls tell me they are proud of me as a Dad . It ’ s in the moments when I help my wife Dorian