A great man, a great father
When my son became an expectant father, I wasn’t
ready and as much as he presented a prepared front,
neither was he. As a twenty-year-old sophomore in
college, he shouldn’t have been. It was his first time
living away from home, away from his support system
and his foundation. Away from the watchful eye of
mom and dad, he was living the life, like most co-eds
and I knew a baby wasn’t a part of that plan. Lawrence
started his academic career as a freshman at Long
Island University, majoring in journalism, with plans
to become a sports writer. His first year started with
a bang, with him getting a spot on the school paper
before orientation was even done. He had the school
part down-pat. But when you’ve also been schooled by
your parents about the do’s and don’ts of campus life
and you use your free will to make contrary decisions,
one must accept the consequences.
I have to give it to him; from the beginning, Lawrence
sucked it up and accepted his responsibility. For as
much as he doted on his high school sweetheart, before
the baby, he kept it up throughout the pregnancy.
Granted, the longer distance made it a challenge,
but it hadn’t stopped them from creating a baby, so
it didn’t stop their relationship. Despite my protests,
12 | NKLC Magazine
he came home almost every weekend. They took
trips to amusement parks and beaches, posing in
bathing suits, showing off her baby bump in bikinis.
Pregnancy was all so cute and cuddly, played out
in pictures and on social media. The resilience of
youth was evident in every post.
Then the time came for my granddaughter to
make her entrance and the situation got real, real
fast. The weight of reality came down swift and
hard. As soon as she was pushed out into the world,
he walked straight into my arms and bawled as
if he were the newborn baby. My heart broke for
him because this would be something with which
I couldn’t help. Lawrence had been trying to show
me he was his own man. He got tatted-up because
he was old enough and didn’t need my permission.
He purchased a car, because he could afford it and
didn’t need my approval. He looked like a man.
He had a man’s possessions: his own money, and
his own stuff. But that night in the delivery room,
he gained his most valuable possession—the only
thing that would require him to prove his manhood
as never before. This crash course was a test he
couldn’t afford to fail.
Unfortunately, the relationship between my son
and his daughter’s mother could not withstand
the weight of the lifestyle changes they would have
to endure. It became a point of great contention
between me and my son. As a mother, I almost
took their break-up personally. How does one walk
away from the woman who just gave you the most
precious gift? It took me a long time to realize how
much he still needed to grow himself. However,
the one thing that never wavered or gave cause for
doubt was Lawrence’s love for his daughter.
I believe the first time he laid eyes on her, he realized
he couldn’t play around anymore, whether that was
in a relationship with her mother, specifically, or
with life, in general. I was blown away by my child’s
devotion to his child. He was assertive in meeting
her needs, as well as the decision to spend as much
time with her as her mother. This became another
area where he and I bumped heads but again, I had