lavor that we bring to WIITWD (What It Is That We Do). This is not to say
that we do it better or with more swagger or anything like that; but it is to
say that we like to put our own spin on something that has been around for
a long time—same as we’ve done with music, fashion, and cuisine. We like to
spank asses, we like to have sex, and a whole lot of other things you’ve never
even seen in the movies that make it to the mainstream. We also indulge
in something called a hierarchical power exchange, which is a completely
different relational dynamic than the egalitarian-centric nature of mainstream
marriages and long-term relationships. I mean, we’re alternative for a reason,
right?
From Los Angeles to New York, from DC and various parts of Maryland to
here in Atlanta where my Beloved and I reside, to other pockets all over the
country, there are things going on in plain sight, and some things that are going
on in places where you’d least expect. Hence, the reasoning behind the title of
my signature series. Black people and people of color enjoy the mental and
physical proclivities that this world offers, and do so with unabashed desire
and passion. Active “munches” (the names for special events) take place in
different cities, with more popping up every month. Not to mention events
and BDSM conferences that primarily cater to Black people, like Weekend
Reunion later this summer, SPRUNG, which was earlier last month, and the
UNITY Munch in October, too. Yes, BDSM in and of itself is beautiful to
experience with all cultures and races, and a plethora of events and munches
are in place to provide that outlet. But there’s something about being among
those who share the same culture that is unlike anything else you will ever
experience.
A good friend of mine, who goes by the name Sir Mason DeRou, stated in
an op-ed within his journal posting on the popular social media site, FetLife,
something that I think sums up the prevailing thought within the Black BDSM
community: “I want to hear some rap (music) when I beat ass, dammit! Enigma
and EDM and techno gets old. I want to make ‘In Living Color’ references or
‘Martin’ references or ‘Living Single’ references or ‘Harlem Nights’ references
and people actually know what the f*ck I’m talking about. I want to drink
spiked red Kool-Aid and talk about grape drink. I want the deejay to put on
‘Hoochie Mama’ and a gang of ass just starts clappin’. But guess what? I have