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The Irony of
Alexithymia by Bart Vulliamy
In doing research for this article , I made the mistake of looking up “ autism and empathy ” online . Unsurprisingly , but still shockingly , the majority of the search results went along the lines of “ autism and no empathy ”. It brought me back to my own experiences with medical professionals and other interpersonal relationships when I was still in denial of my own autism and ADHD diagnoses . In learning and doing my own research , I found the right word for this condition , and how long this debate has been going on .
From the Greek term “ no words for emotion ”, alexithymia is still a condition that isn ’ t very well known , although it is estimated that 50 to 80 % of autistic people have it . Outside of the autism spectrum , research has shown that 10 % of the general public also experiences it . The term alexithymia first appeared in 1976 and was considered a deficit in emotional awareness . It is now defined as the difficulty or inability to understand and identify your feelings or emotions or having feelings that you don ’ t have words for . This can show up as difficulty attuning to your bodily sensations or being unsure of which words to use for what you ’ re feeling .
While I am hyper-empathetic , when it comes to situations that trigger empathy , instead of having what some would consider a “ typical ” reaction , I tend to shut down from being overwhelmed . It does not mean that I do not feel . It means that the amount of feelings and sensations overwhelm me in such a way that I am not fully capable of processing them externally .
It also means that a lot of those who deal with alexithymia also have difficulty identifying their mental or physical health issues . Not only does it make emotional regulation harder , but it also can also exacerbate autistic burnout or prolong it , especially when treatments like talk therapy are unreliable . Mixed with the sensory issues , emotional dysregulation , and higher rates of co-morbities ( anxiety , depression , trauma ) that comes with autism spectrum disorder , it can make it harder for an individual to tend to their own practical and medical needs .
As with all types of disabilities , it is important not to generalize - not all people with autism are hyperempathetic , but nor are they “ incapable of emotions ”. Alexithymia ultimately doesn ’ t have anything to do with experiencing feelings , but with how they are shown . And therein lies the entire debate , which in my own opinion , shouldn ’ t be focused on how people express their emotions but on better care to help people with regulation .