Mélange Accessibility for All Magazine October 2021 | Page 47

To Table of Contents category of height / weight / size / mental ability . But what I say who decided this who says your child has to be this or that . Why can ' t they just be , be who they are without being put in a box and labelled ? In saying this , I also believe there needs to be more support out there for all families because no one child is the same ; we all have different abilities / disabilities . Look at each child as a whole and what specific needs each one need to have . There is no one box that you can tick for everyone .
What has having Jimmy taught me
When I was 19 , I had a friends father say to me ; your life will get harder . I was always worried about this , and there was a point a few years back where I thought it was harder . When your child is young , you don ' t see the differences between others , but as they get older , you start to notice . I don ' t like to say what Jimmy can ' t do but rather focus on what he can do . I guess for me ; I would say it ' s not hard in the way people think it would be .
Even though he is still in nappies , I have to feed him and shower him and basically help him with everyday living skills . He is my little shining bright star the smiles I get and the laughter I hear makes everything worthwhile . He loves learning new skills , and though it might take a long time , our persistence pays off . Jimmy is always so proud of himself , and I ' m always there cheering him on . We have our bad days , but they don ' t outweigh our good ones .
From what I ' ve shared , I hope parents will take away the following :
Understand that you are going to have so many feelings come and go some days are good other days are just terrible , but you get through this . It doesn ' t happen overnight , and to be honest , it wasn ' t until Jimmy was in his 20s when I really started to changes in myself and how I would deal with having an adult / child with a disability . Take time for yourself , because if you are looking after yourself , you will be happier and that will reflect on to your family .
I had a doctor say to me when Jimmy was in the hospital at a very young age that I should take care of myself because he has seen too many families put their lives on hold and end up giving up after a while because they never looked after themselves . You mustn ' t think that by putting yourself first that you aren ' t a good parent ; what you are really doing is not losing who you are and being a better parent for it . It ' s harder to do this , than say , but don ' t feel guilty taking time for you — don ' t feel guilty for feeling any of your feelings . Life is a roller coaster , and we are meant to ride all those waves , the good ones and the bad ones , and each time you overcome one , you will get stronger , and it will get easier .
Just be unapologetically you , let your children be themselves . Find what you love and bring it into your family . Any obstacle you face , look at it from a different point of view . Not everything will be easy , but there is always a way you just have to trust yourself and step out of your comfort zone . Everything I have ever done with Jimmy , I always had to take that first step into the unknown , and every time , I have never looked back . We have travelled many places with friends and alone , and I have needed to put in the extra work to be able to do this , and all that work paid off . Trust yourself that you got this far and to be open to everything that comes your way , places , people , and life always works out if you allow it to flow , no resistance and always understand that what you do today has already shaped your tomorrow .