Mélange Accessibility for All Magazine January 2022 | Page 70

To Table of Contents and through their on-going interaction , they are able to share coping mechanisms . One of the more frequently asked questions is whether sex with their partner is still possible and the answer is “ yes .” It may take a different form for different people , but it can be done , they shared . Sometimes it looks a little different from traditional sex … “ but there are so many options .”
Even with government support , the women say caregiver services are far from satisfactory and Brooke had endured “ terrible experiences .” Some caregivers would show up late and one missed 82 shifts ! Brooke shared . “…. she said she was coming to the house but I was doing all the work and she was getting paid for those 82 shifts .” Elena adds , “ Not everyone who is in the field should be in the field .” And the reasons for the poor service ? Brooke feels that it is because “ caregivers are overworked and underpaid ” and have too many clients to handle to provide proper care . Elena echoes a similar sentiment stating that caregivers often didn ’ t show up so she had to fill in for them .
Both Elena and Brooke said they had to learn how to “ share their space ” with daily caregivers , but Elena admits that the “ hour and a half in the morning ” when they are in the house assisting her partner , this allows her the chance to do dishes , take the dog out for a walk , and get other things done . Elena says it has “ taken them a while to find the right caregivers .”
At one point during the Conversation , Sophia asks the two women about their feelings as it relates to the role they now play as opposed to the one they played before their partners injury . “ We love our partners ” was the immediate reply . Elena says in the beginning she was beset with thoughts of “ Why me ?”, but has now adjusted to the new normal . “ I kind of forget that Dan ’ s in a wheelchair ” she says . Brooke adds that although some wives and girlfriends may find it difficult to accept the new reality of their partners with spinal cord injuries , she never considered any other option but to be with her partner and care for him . “ I love this person ,” she says , “ I believe this was put in our lives for a reason .”
Watch the entire Conversation