US ophthalmologist were scheduled to visit the island . My appointment was scheduled April 2020 , but unknowingly , Covid-19 had other plans . By that date , our country was shut down , all borders were closed , no flights were coming in or out , and no travelling to anywhere allowed . I therefore lost the opportunity to have my eye surgery done and because of this , about a month later , I lost all vision in my right eye .
It was a tremendously heart wrenching time for me , so devastating that I worried and stressed to such an extend that I had to be hospitalized for three weeks . It was by far the lowest point in my life , and I lost all hope . Through all of my anguish , I kept my faith but I would lie on the hospital bed and ask “ Why me ? What did I do to deserve this ? I ' m not a bad person , I take care of my family , my responsibilities , I care for and help so many people , I love God , so why did this have to happen to me ?.”
I must admit , I lost hope , but with the love , care and encouragement of my mom and family , I was able to see a glimmer of light and started to suppress my negative thoughts . With continuous prayer and positive thoughts I began to accept my fate .
When I got out of the hospital ,
I had to make drastic changes in my life based on my now disability . It wasn ’ t life as usual for me anymore . I had to resort to living with family as being blind in one eye and the other eye not being 100 % functional meant that I would need assistance . It also meant that I wouldn ' t be able to work as efficiently and effectively at the level that I and my clients were used to . Reality of life soon became my main focus .
I recall the doctors ’ visits at the hospital always created mixed feelings for me . I was told yes , I am recovering physically overall , but I would never be able to see out of my right eye again . Every time I heard this , it got me down but I started thinking : " I wasn ’ t dead , I was only slowed down . I had life , and with life there are still endless possibilities ." Then it dawned on me - I should finish my cookbook . Alas ! Here was something positive and meaningful I can focus on while I was lying on my hospital bed .
From the many private chef jobs I did for visitors to my island , I had already started putting recipes together in my mind with the thought that maybe one day I ' d have my own book . Before my partial blindness , I was encouraged by a good friend in Canada to look into publishing a cookbook to capture all of the wonderful dishes I would have created during my career as a chef . So , it was then clear to me what I wanted to do next .
After making all the necessary decisions and adjustments to my life , I was determined to continue with my book and gave myself a deadline to get it completed by early 2021 . I put my thoughts together and with the assistance of my loving sister , Amal , who lives on the island of Antigua , I was able to start my book . I would call her daily , give her the recipes , procedures , measurements etc . and she would type them out for me .
To Table of Contents
I was challenged by my lack of vision , the daily eye pain and rigors of my new life , but it only motivated me more . With the continued assistance of family and loved ones , I was able to complete my book . It was published and
available on Amazon by November 2020 .
If you ' re going through a similar situation , once you have life and you can acquire a positive outlook , you can still accomplish your goals and your dreams .