Tranjula C. Holden
From the editors heart
In observing todays woman I find it common for them to essentially covet the covenant of marriage. For some odd reason it appears to the naked eye that they seems to feel worthless or incomplete because they are not joined in marriage. Every conversation, Facebook post or twitter status makes reference to the topic that obviously bombards their daily thoughts. Every time I see or hear a woman discussing marriage the first question that comes to my mind is simply.....” Are you marriage material?” This is not a question born of any type of hate or lack of sensitivity but one that is necessary. Let me give you a practical example. As a child I often imagined myself being a lawyer, when asked by teachers or family what I wanted to do when I grew up I with no apologies would spew out“ I’ m want to be a lawyer”. As a 8 year old child it would sound amazing just coming out of my mouth, I would get the approval and frequent head pats from adults responding“ that’ s great your smart enough to be anything you want”. I was elated by the encouragement and even more intrigued by others belief in a young child ' s dreams of success. So for several years following I continued to tell everyone who asked“ I want to be a lawyer” One day one of my favorite teacher challenged my goal. She simply asked do you know everything it takes to become a lawyer? She then began, over several minutes to explain the process, how long you had to go to school, the fact that you had to then take the bar exam; and pass to even be considered being a lawyer. Did she tell me this to crush my dream? or to hate on me in any way? Absolutely not. She however, shared with me what was necessary to actually attain my goals. I now had all the information necessary to make an educated decision about my career path. I then had to make the decision if I would take that information and use it to move forward with that dream, or count the cost, and be honest with myself and ask was I really willing to do all those things my teacher told me about. Needless to say, I chose to be honest with myself, I didnt’ want to spend that much time in school, nor did I want to undergo the pressure of after attending school for that amount of time still not be able to work in my field of study until I successfully passed a major exam, getting into a firm and blah blah blah. I said all that to give you a clear picture about marriage. As someone who took the plunge into marriage at the ripe ole age of eighteen; it is HARD WORK. It’ s not just holding hands and skipping through the tulips that you see while peering over the fence to greener grass. If you are not a person who is able to compromise with your partner then marriage might not be for you. Are you selfish? Are you so independent that you won’ t allow a man to be a man? Are you a person who can communicate not only when you’ re happy but when you’ re angry as well? Know thyself, and don’ t be unrealistic in your approach to marriage. Don’ t be disillusioned and ask yourself the tough questions, starting with.......” Am I marriage material”?
Tranjula C. Holden
Tranjula C. Holden Editor- in- Chief
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