Waiting for Death
As I write this I sit by Alison ’ s bed and ponder about waiting . Alison has only just been breathing for the last week , very little else . We have been expecting her to pass away any time . Alison had been diagnosed with untreatable cancer eleven months ago . She knew it was all a matter of time . I do not know if she was waiting to die … Alison has been unconscious now for a week . I do not know now as she lays on the bed , unresponsive , what she is aware of . Is she waiting to move on from this state ? Is she hoping that death will arrive as soon as possible ?
We know that there is no hope of recovery and we want to be here with her for as long as it takes to make sure she is not alone .
We wait patiently , but at the same time we yearn for a quick resolution to this situation that keeps us in limbo .
We sit by her side day after day . I observe a gradual transformation . It seems like Alison ’ s body is getting ready for another phase .
The experience of sitting by Alison ’ s bedside and the reading of Blanchot ’ s The Work and The Death Space make me consider death as a trope for a profound transformation within the artist that allows the work ’ s gradual emergence .
Felix Gonzalez Torres ‘ Untiltled ’ ( Perfect Lovers ) 1987-1990
This piece consists of two identical clocks side by side . They both start at the same time but gradually they get out of sync and one of them will stop before the other as its battery runs out . The piece makes reference to Gonzalez Torres ’ relationship with his lover Ross Laycock , who was diagnosed with aids and who died in 1991 .