Checklist of struggles since the Ultra:
• I really don’t like seeing neon green
(the color of the Ultra).
• I haven’t ran since (although I need to).
• Having trouble not thinking about it.
• Wishing it was next September already.
• I despise seeing the “cakes, shadowboxes,
medals” and everything else that I see
posted in the Ultra Facebook group.
• Haven’t posted any pictures of the event,
nor was I excited about downloading them.
• Had to force myself to watch the recap video.
To be honest, I almost feel like I’ve lost a little bit
of a competitive edge too since DNF’ing at the Ultra.
I find myself battling more mentally at basketball
league games…football league games…etc. It may
be petty to some of you reading this…but it’s honest.
There’s a part of me that was left on the mountain
in Killington. It’s like there’s a mythical dragon that
took my sword after a battle. Some would say, “it’s
just a sword”…but it’s not. I know the heartache,
disappointment and the likes will subside with
time…that I’ll come back to Vermont stronger, wiser
and more ready next time. But as “silly” as it may
sound, I feel like I won’t be 100% until I conquer it.
354 days, 6 hours, 3 minutes and 30 seconds til
the battle for redemption starts.