the entrepreneur ' s bread and butter . And ever since Chris spent his childhood and teen years observing his dad successfully run his own small business , he knew he ’ d like to have one of his own someday .
While Chris wasn ’ t able to travel the world through the Secret Service like he had dreamed of in his younger years , he now flies from place to place using his past experiences as the foundation for his informative seminars and training curricula . Any success he achieved in the FBI has been mirrored in his business pursuits . He has debunked the biggest myths associated with negotiation at various renowned business schools , including Georgetown and Marshall School of Business ; he has been featured on CBS , CNN , ABC , Forbes , and Time ; and in 2016 , he released his best-selling book “ Never Split the Difference : Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It .”
In this 260-page practical guide , Chris shares nine effective principles and strategies that CEOs and salesmen of all types can use to become more persuasive . Here are four takeaways from Chris ’ s book that you can add to your repertoire right away .
TIP NO . 1 : STOP SEEKING THE ‘ YES ’
“ We ’ re all taught that ‘ getting to yes ’ is the goal in negotiations , but ‘ yes ’ is always a trap ,” Chis explains . Momentum sales is based on the flawed approach of getting a prospect to say “ yes ” to a series of micro-agreements in order to seal the deal at the end of the pitch . But Chris believes the idea of reaching an appropriate number of “ yeses ” is one of the worst ways to implement a deal . Seeking the “ yes ” is always well-intentioned , but doing so causes an instantaneous reaction that leaves prospects feeling tied down and looking for a way out . In the legal world , when you take someone by force , they will take the opportunity to bail the moment you let up . The same is true in the world of sales .
Start changing your “ yes ” questions to “ no ” questions . “ Do you have a few minutes to talk ?” becomes “ Is now a bad time to talk ?” “ Do you agree ?” becomes “ Do you disagree ?” “ Does this seem like an option that would work for you ?” becomes “ Are you against doing this ?”
TIP NO . 2 : MASTER ‘ NO ’
In order to fully avoid the pitfalls of momentum sales based solely on achieving the “ yes ,” you can ’ t be horrified by hearing “ no .” In order to make that shift , you have to take time to fully understand what “ yes ” and “ no ” actually mean . Chris elucidates , “ The vast majority of people view ‘ yes ’ as success , which means that ‘ no ’ equates to failure . But this simply isn ’ t true . In my life , I ’ ve realized that there are three ways to say ‘ yes ’: commitment , confirmation , and counterfeit . Unfortunately , most end up being counterfeit , which debunks the idea that micro-agreements lead to a sale . The whole theory is built upon false promises . You have to retrain your brain to accept ‘ no ’ as a profitable response .”
TIP NO . 3 : REMEMBER STEPHEN R . COVEY ’ S 5TH HABIT
In “ The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People ,” author Stephen R . Covey famously wrote , “ Seek first to understand , then to be understood .” Many businesses read this habit and considered it good advice , but when it came time to implement the idea in their business , they reverse Covey ’ s phrasing . By leading your pitch with a value proposition , you are seeking first to be understood rather than to understand , which is problematic .
The first step to making Covey ’ s habit a reality is by practicing empathy and active listening . “ While you ’ re making your argument , the only time the other side is silent is because they ’ re thinking about their own argument ,” Chris asserts . “ They ’ ve got a voice in their head that ’ s talking to them . They ’ re not listening to you .”
The fact is that most people are terrible listeners , so to combat this tendency , you need to first demonstrate your understanding of the other party ’ s mindset . Use empathetic listening to signify that you are aware of their stance , including problems they might have with you or what you are offering . For example , if you sense that a customer is concerned about the security features associated with a product , you can start to label those emotions by using intentional phrasing : “ It sounds like you are afraid of the lack of security features ,” or “ It looks like you ’ re concerned about security .” By assigning your counterpart ’ s feelings a label , you demonstrate an understanding of how they feel . Only then can you begin pitching your value proposition and make yourself understood .
TIP NO . 4 : NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE
You need to learn how to comfortably ask , “ How am I supposed to do that ?” By posing this question , you are making a positive move toward forced collaboration . You are compelling the other party to look beyond their stance in order to understand yours . This question helps you situate yourself in the space that exists between “ yes ” and “ no ,” which is a great starting point for any kind of negotiation .
While these four tips make up a significant part of Chris ’ s methodology , none of them will serve you well if you ’ re disrespectful . To pull off the previously mentioned negotiation in the Philippines , for example , Chris coached a member of the police department on how to talk with a terrorist directly . At the end of the negotiation , the terrorist let the American hostage go and didn ' t collect the $ 10 million he was demanding . A few days later , the terrorist even called the police officer , asking if he got promoted ! Chris believes that if you ' re good at negotiating , your counterpart will not hold any ill will toward you , and that stems from respect .
While many contemporary businesses are refusing to let go of the negotiation strategies of the past , the emotional approach and sense of urgency involved in negotiating the release of hostages can easily and effectively be applied in sales and marketing . Far too often , salespeople alienate their counterpart and lose the opportunity to arrive at a solution , which often results in cataclysmic financial results .
Negotiation doesn ’ t need to be a zero-sum game , and it certainly doesn ' t have to include white-knuckle terror , but it does require a few changes in perspective . To find out more about how Chris ’ s strategies can help you , be sure to pick up a copy of his best-selling book or go to BlackSwanLTD . com . n