CHAMPION MINDSET
How To Recognize ( And Overcome ) Manipulative Conversations With Prospects And Clients
By using these strategies , you can increase the likelihood of mutually beneficial outcomes .
BY CHRIS VOSS
Difficult conversations are ... difficult . There ’ s no getting around it . Whether you ’ re discussing a price increase with an existing client , a new sales proposal with a prospect , or how you ’ ll resolve a problem with an unhappy customer , you ’ ll often face barriers and objections .
Navigating these difficult conversations and manipulative pushbacks is crucial in negotiations , as they can greatly impact the outcome of a deal . Here ’ s how to recognize the different types of barrier tactics you may encounter and how to defuse them to achieve successful results .
Barrier Tactic 1 : The “ Yes , But . . .” Person
Individuals who consistently discount or reject ideas can hinder progress in negotiations . To address this , it is important to use a combination of techniques . I recommend using labeling ( verbal observations of feelings ) and open-ended questions to engage the person in finding a solution .
By saying something like “ It seems you ’ re having some difficulty accepting what I am proposing . How can we resolve this ?”, you acknowledge their resistance and invite them to actively participate in finding a mutually beneficial solution .
Barrier Tactic 2 : The Suspicious Person
Establishing rapport with a suspicious person is crucial as their trust issues can impede effective communication . When dealing with such individuals , I suggest using paraphrasing and open-ended questions to address their concerns .
By saying , “ You seem to have a problem trusting me and my company . How can I alleviate some of your concerns ?”, you acknowledge their trust issues and shift the conversation toward resolving the underlying cause of their suspicion .
Barrier Tactic 3 : The Hostile Person
Dealing with a hostile or angry person who uses intimidation can be challenging . Maintaining self-control is key in such
situations . I emphasize the importance of using “ I ” messages to express feelings without sounding confrontational .
For example , saying , “ When you _______, I feel _______ because _______” allows you to convey emotions and initiate a constructive dialogue . If challenged about labeling them , you can clarify that you ’ re discussing their behavior , not making personal attacks .
Barrier Tactic 4 : The Challenging Person
Challenging individuals often seek to assert power and superiority by questioning your expertise or authority . It is essential to avoid direct power struggles and remain composed . Instead , focus on the issue at hand and deflect their challenges . By calmly asking what they would do if they were in your position , you shift the conversation toward problem-solving rather than engaging in a contest of knowledge or authority .
Keep Calm And Carry On
When faced with manipulative tactics in negotiations , it is important to remain firm , composed , and in control of your own emotions . By utilizing techniques such as labeling , open-ended questions , and “ I ” messages , you can defuse these tactics and foster more productive and successful negotiations . Armed with these strategies , you can overcome barriers , establish effective communication , and increase the likelihood of achieving mutually beneficial outcomes .
Chris Voss is the CEO of The Black Swan Group , a firm that solves business negotiation problems with hostage negotiation strategies . Chris is also an adjunct professor at the University of Southern California Marshall School of Business and Georgetown University ’ s McDonough School of Business , where he teaches business negotiation in both MBA programs . Find out more at www . BlackSwanLtd . com .
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