all contribute to an enhanced quality of life for law school families. But where do you find these important people and spaces? And how do you budget time and energy for a new host of meetings and obligations?
Organize Your Academic Life First
Want to enjoy your time with your family and community? Awesome. We do too, but if you are anything like us, it is critical that you stay on top of your academic obligations first so that your mind can focus on the quality time you have budgeted into your week. First, organize your daily tasks by making a list of the five things that must be accomplished in your day. Rank them in order of importance and then be sure to accomplish these things first. This can be difficult to do since we are often drawn to accomplishing small tasks first to “clear out
our schedule.” But lots of little tasks add up to large chunks of time taken away from larger, more pressing obligations. Again, tackle those first things first and break down large tasks into manageable chunks spread over multiple days is required.
Second, consider utilizing the 50/10 minute study plan. This plan is simple and easy to follow. For each hour that you have designated as work time, you work for 50 minutes and reserve the remaining 10 minutes for free time. This time can be use for checking email, surfing the net, chatting with friends, etc. But whatever you do, be sure that this 10 minutes is spent
completing “fun things” that you enjoy because you need to continue to push yourself academically through the remaining 50 minutes of the hour. Motivation is key!
Third, join relevant peer groups that provide mentorship and support. Warning, this can be extremely difficult for many of us who find ourselves in competitive academic work spaces. It may take time to figure out which peers are a good fit for our desire to maintain work-life balance, so keep your eyes and ears open for those people. Think you’ve found someone? Schedule a 30 minute coffee break during your lunch hour and get to know them. Be as willing to offer a kind heart as you are about receiving mentorship and support too.
Seek Out Community Spaces for Your Family
Consult your local Chamber of Commerce, parks and recreation, YMCA, and university calendar for fun, affordable activities for your family year round. Also, consider signing up for parent/child swim lessons or taekwondo lessons through your university gym. Surprise, many universities have these...and
they are a great rate too! City parks also maintain their own calendar of seasonal events and activities for children that are fun for all ages and free or low-cost.
Push yourself to think outside of the box of “fun activities” or else you run the risk of feeling “cabin fever.” Both of us have young children and are attending law school in Illinois, where the weather has been incredibly harsh for the unbearably long winter months. Time spent playing and running outdoors on the weekend just isn’t a possibility right now. We wouldn’t call ourselves swimmers or crafters of sorts, but guess what, we are now known for our ability to try new things with our little ones whenever we can! Whether it be a new restaurant, fitness class, or fellowship event
at a local church, we are there to enjoy ourselves with our family during the precious time our schedules have budgeted.
Most importantly, when you find spaces and people that “just fit,” cultivate quality relationships! Be up front with yourself and your children about your academic and professionals goals. Explain how your responsibilities require a lot of time, often away from home, but that you are excited about spending time with your family exploring your community. Have your child take the lead in creating a fun activity for you to do as a family. Incorporate them and your partner into the task of seek out exciting extra-curricular activities that your children look forward to. Just because you have budgeted the time does not mean you must always be the one to figure out what you all will be doing during that team. It takes a village!
Lean on Family and Partners
So you are not exactly the type to ask for help? Us either. We get that. But we also get that this law school business is demanding, time consuming, and draining. Enlist the support of your family and partner before the ship sets sail, so to speak. Discuss your schedule, needs, and wants in a consistent way to be sure that everyone is on the same page. If you moved across country with no family then use the people you have met on your law school journey as your support system. You would be surprised how many people are willing to help, even if it’s just for an hour.
Do not be afraid to delegate tasks, change up your role in the family (for example: you might not be in charge of dinner each night
anymore or you may not be the one in charge of finances or parent/teacher conferences), and create a culture of open communication in your home. Why? Because there will be a lot of growing pains during this time of transition as parent and law student. Perhaps as you read this chapter you were thinking about how you could incorporate all of this advice into your own life. Take a moment to think now about how your family and partner, if possible, can take on some of these tips to help easy the family responsibilities for everyone. Empower others to step up and create new, special traditions with your children so that you can be involved but not overwhelmed.
Last, remember again to make time for yourself and time for your relationship with your partner. Parenting and family structures are creative, changing things. In addition, good parenting does not always look one way or another. We both have different and diverse family systems but have also created loving, safe places for our children. Love what you’ve got and keep it safe! And if you are married and in law school, Chapter 7 offers some excellent advice on how to manage those unique challenges as well. We have got you covered there too.
1 Jacinda Walker, Can you Be Law Student and a Parent, available at http://bal.wolterskluwerlb.com/2012/07/19/can-you-be-a-law-student-and-a-parent/.
2 PALS - Parents Attending Law School, University of Washington School of Law, available at http://students.washington.edu/lawpals/advice.shtml.
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