Mr.&Mrs. Issue 03/March 2014 - Page 10

"I Maybe Single But You Are Divorced"

Which would you rather be – single (as in never married before) or divorced (as in at least you tried)? Approximately 25% of all women have never been married before and about 15% of all women are divorced. So there are many more women who have never experienced marriage than those who have and failed. What does this mean?

Divorced women definitely have baggage. Everyone knows that the divorce rate is about 50% but what about 2nd or 3rd marriages? These rates are much higher – between 60-75%. There are many alleged reasons for this but what would be the point of getting remarried knowing that there is a much higher risk of you failing again? Are divorced women just doomed from the start? It’s hard to say, but it does say a lot about someone who was not afraid to put their heart on the line even if things didn’t work out for them.

Single women certainly have issues too. Studies show that women who have never been married (particularly over the age of 35) will more than likely never get married. That’s quite a scary statistic! Single women are considered more selfish and maybe even too independent for their own good. Perhaps they are even afraid to fail at marriage but at least they know better to marry the wrong person or to get married for the wrong reasons. Sometimes it is better to NOT do something than to do it and it doesn’t work out.

Is it better to try & fail at love or to never try at all? You may have heard the saying, “'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." (Alfred Lord Tennyson), but you may have also heard “I like being single, I'm always there when I need me” (Art Leo). Let’s take a look at some of the pros & cons of being single versus being divorced:

Pro: Single – Less baggage. No strong emotional ties to anyone in your past other than the occasional long term boyfriend. Having your heart broken by an ex-boyfriend sucks but it can’t hurt nearly as bad as having a failed marriage under your belt.

Con: Single – The longer you’re single the harder it is to incorporate someone else into your life, your schedule, your routine, etc. Simply put, you can get stuck in your ways!

Pro: Divorced – Been there, done that. If you are considering getting remarried at least you know what to expect.

Con: Divorced – You have to re-enter a dating pool that you thought you had forever left behind. Only now you’re competing with younger women with less baggage.

Pro: Single – You’re definitely forced to become self-reliant and are able to get things done without needing help.

Con: Single - Dating can get very old, very quickly. Having to go through the trouble of getting dressed up, going out to hopefully meet new men can grow tiresome. Sometimes it may seem like a never ending cycle.