Mountain Bike for Her Issue 4 - Dec/Jan 2015 | Page 6

Self-Discovery

MY EGO
PROBLEM

Words and photos by Danielle Baker

W

hen I first learned that I had a spot
on the 7-day Mountain Biking BC
Kootenay Tour I was beyond excited,
a minute later, I was terrified. This is
because I have a secret – I am not a
natural athlete. And after ten years riding
and six years working in the bike industry,
I am still not a great mountain biker. I can
get by with the skills I have, but the idea
of riding with pros or strangers, or even
on new trails leaves me feeling exposed
and uncomfortable. It has become an
embarrassment I try to hide and writing
this under a pseudonym did cross my
mind – “who is Daniela Barker? And why
can’t she ride a bike?”
My family has accepted my lack of
athletic prowess since the grade school
pageant that had me enthusiastically
skipping across the stage while my peers

Mountain Bike for Her | P. 6

cartwheeled. At that time, I was too young
to see this difference in our abilities as
something to be concerned about, I was
happy to just be participating. By high
school, however, I was faking menstrual
cramps every fourth period to avoid
displaying my awkwardness in gym class.
Whenever I introduce a friend to
mountain biking and they surpass my
level in a few short months, I smile
supportively. I give the thumbs up and
cheer for them, “way to go”, while I am
actually thinking, “you have got to be
fucking kidding me.” I have always felt
that I should be better, I should be able
to keep up, I should be able to hit bigger
drops, I should be able to shotgun a beer
without getting it up my nose, I should
– and the list goes on. It was with this
knowledge of my shortcomings that I