we need is a big sturdy building (with adequate parking for
with bottled drinks and snacks. Alcohol would be required for
sterilizing and dressing wounds; it’s also been well known since
medieval times that brewed ales are often much safer to drink
than unmaintained water supplies. To keep up morale our merry
band of survivalists will also need amusements to help pass the
time (darts, pool, cribbage, quiz nights, skittles etc.). I think we
all know where I’m going with this.
After camping out in the lounges of your favourite rural
gastro-pub for a few weeks you should be able to come out and
resume your normal lives. The reality of zombie plagues is that
they blow over quite quickly - you can’t always believe the hype
to be absolutely ravenous, and will relentlessly chase potential
of nibbles! - just enough in fact, to infect the poor victim and
free lunch I can tell you! Zombies don’t do diets.
In reality, a zombie is a simple beast who will gobble up
tank: after a few weeks your local parish will contain just one
enormous zombie, who probably can’t run very fast, and could
be easily run over by a large customised Land Rover.
58 | MotorPunk January 2014