If you would have asked me in my senior year of high school if I wanted to be a priest , I would have said no . Now don ’ t get me wrong , I loved being raised in the faith by my parents . I was active in my parish youth group and had been an altar server since fourth grade . I wanted my Christian faith to be an enduring part of my life . With that said , being a priest — that wasn ’ t my plan . But it was God ’ s plan , and he would continue to call .

Like most students leaving high school for college , I loved the idea of being able to study whatever I wanted . Some of my favorite subjects were physics and mathematics — even if I wasn ’ t great at them . So , I applied to a few local universities and was accepted . I had narrowed it down to majoring in physics , and just as I was finalizing my plan , I got a call . And no , it wasn ’ t a “ sky opening up and God ’ s voice calling me ”

Photo by Valaurian Waller kind of call . It was a phone call from my parish . There was an evening dinner for altar servers down at the seminary , and I was asked if I wanted to go . It wasn ’ t my plan initially , but I was easily convinced with a tour and free food .

Somehow the fact that it was a priestly vocations event never occurred to me until I actually arrived , but that was OK . I already had my plan so it wasn ’ t a big deal — that is , it wasn ’ t until the seminarian at our table shared his vocation story . He told us that he had gone to college , graduated with a degree in physics , and afterwards still felt called to the priesthood . If there was any moment in my life up to that point where God wanted to get my attention , he now had all of it . It was as if the Lord said , “ I see your plan Benjamin , and I ’ m still calling you .”

Needless to say , after this I was quite shook up . The idea of being a priest kept coming back to me as the weeks went on . I realized what every follower of Christ throughout history has realized . That we must leave behind ourselves and follow him . As the prophet Jeremiah says : “ I know the plans I have for you , declares the Lord , plans for welfare and not for evil , to give you a future and a hope ” ( Jer 29:11 ). The Lord had a plan for me and was inviting me to something great . He had called me . The only question now : What was I going to do ?

My immediate answer was to attend the seminary , but being stubborn , I didn ’ t apply to be a seminarian right away . If someone asked me if I was discerning the priesthood , I would still say no . But every once in a while , I would speculate what it would be like to be a priest before shaking it off .

It wasn ’ t until I learned about the conversion of St . Ignatius of Loyola that I realized what was happening . While recovering from surgery , Ignatius would go back and forth between wanting to be a valiant knight and wanting to be a priest . The thoughts of being a priest would linger longer and gave him deeper consolation than those of being a chivalrous knight . Once I realized that I had also been doing this for the past year and a half , I suddenly had no problem applying to be a seminarian . God had been calling me , and I finally said yes . I had no idea what the future would hold or what my life might be like , but I was at peace . It was a peace that came from knowing I was following the Lord and there was no cause for concern . Not that everything from that moment would be easy , but with Christ all things are possible .

My years in the seminary so far have been a tremendous blessing . I ’ ve had opportunities I never thought I would have . And especially at a seminary dedicated to Jesus ’ heart , I ’ ve grown closer to that source of infinite love every day . To remain close to Jesus ’ heart is the goal not just of every priest but also every Christian . His is a heart that has loved us so much . It is from Jesus ’ heart that he says , “ Father not my will , but thine be done .” shms . edu 19

MOSAIC Spring/Summer 2022 | Page 19

Growing Closer to the Source of Infinite Love