LIVING IN THE LIGHT
Spirituality for the Lay Person
The Two Ends of Marriage
Dr. Patricia Cooney Hathaway
S
erious, prayerful reflection on the Church’s teaching regarding married
life illustrates that we have made positive strides in developing our
understanding of the purpose and goal of married life. This essay is an attempt
to survey that development. St. Augustine, in his treatise On the Good of
Marriage, describes the three goods (“bona”) of marriage as permanence,
fidelity, and openness to offspring; that is, marriage properly understood
consists of the conjugal union of a man and a woman for life, of exclusive
and mutual intimate fidelity, for the procreation and education of children.
Unfortunately, over time, his perspec-
tive on the ends of marriage often found
expression as primarily for the procreation
and education of children and secondarily,
as a remedy for concupiscence—a some-
what limited understanding of why a man
and a woman have chosen to marry! This
perspective on the two ends of marriage,
stated somewhat more positively as pri-
marily for the procreation and education
of children, and secondarily the welfare
of husband and wife was articulated in the
1917 Code of Canon Law.
However, the Second Vatican Council
evidenced an important shift in perspec-
tive. The subcommittee dealing with the
section on marriage and the family, under
the leadership of our own Archbishop John
Dearden, chose not to use the hierarchical
language of primary and secondary ends
to marriage, but rather to describe the im-
portance of both. In the document, Gaudi-
um et Spes, the constitution on the Church
in the Modern World, the bishops stated,
“But marriage was not instituted solely
for the procreation of children: its nature
as an indissoluble covenant between two
people and the good of the children de-
mand that the mutual love of the partners
be properly expressed, that it should grow
and mature” (no. 50).
Later, Pope Paul VI, in his encyclical let-
ter, Humanae Vitae, expresses quite beau-
tifully this inter-relationship between the
two ends of marriage. “Married love par-
ticularly reveals its true nature and nobility
when we realize that it takes its origin from
God, who “is love....” (no. 6). “As a con-
sequence, husband and wife, through that
mutual gift of themselves, which is specific
and exclusive to them alone, develop that
union of two persons in which they perfect
one another, cooperating with God in the
generation and rearing of new lives” (no. 8).
Pope John Paul II, in his apostolic exhorta-
tion, Familiaris Consortio, continues to high-
light the importance of both through the
language of covenant, self-giving love, and
participation in the very creativity of God.
In its most profound reality, love is es-
sentially a gift, and conjugal love while
leading the spouses to the reciprocal
‘knowledge’ which makes them ‘one
flesh,’ does not end with the couple,
because it makes them capable of the
greatest possible gift, the gift by which
they become cooperators with God for
giving life to a new person (no. 14).
Most recently, in his post-synodal ap-
ostolic exhortation, Amoris Laetitia, Pope
Francis recognizes the efforts made by past
popes to present a favorable description of
the ends of marriage, yet he maintains that
many representatives of the Church still
emphasize the procreative dimension of
marriage over the unitive.
We need a healthy dose of self-criti-
cism.... We often present marriage in
such a way that its unitive meaning, its
call to grow in love, and its ideal of mu-
tual assistance are overshadowed by an
almost exclusive insistence on the duty
of procreation” (no. 36).
Pope Francis addresses this imbalance
particularly in chapters three, four, and five
where he describes in an engaging and re-
freshing manner the joys and challenges of
married life. In particular he stresses that
marriage is first an “intimate partnership of
life and love which is good for the spouses
themselves”; that the love of a couple will
only be able to truly appreciate the joys
and overcome the trials of life if there are
three in the marriage: husband, wife, and
God. He provides a much needed, healthy
approach to “the passions” and the role of
sexuality in marriage. Finally, one of the
most valuable insights of Pope Francis is his
recognition of the influence of the couple’s
relationship on the health and well-being
of their children.
Catholic teaching has developed an af-
firming and life-giving theology of married
life. In Pope Francis’ recent contribution
to that development, we are offered a
deeper understanding and appreciation
for marriage and family life, one that en-
riches our teaching, widens our pastoral
communication, and challenges our spiri-
tual integration.
Dr. Patricia Cooney Hathaway is professor of spir-
ituality and systematic theology at Sacred Heart.
shms.edu
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