ADVANCING THE NEW EVANGELIZATION
Winning the World for the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Humanae Vitae in Real Life
Richard Budd with Jenny Ingles
T
his summer marks fifty years since Bl. Pope Paul VI wrote his wise and prophetic
document, Humanae Vitae. One of the pastoral challenges since has been to con-
vince God’s people that Natural Family Planning (NFP) is the only means of legitimate
birth regulation, and is ultimately good for them as spouses.
This naturally led to a reliance on mar-
keting tactics and messaging to convince
people to abandon what the wisdom of the
world tells them is true about artificial con-
traception. This messaging paints NFP as
easy to use, pain free, and worry free, with
pictures of bright, happy couples and long
lists of the benefits.
However, experience shows us that prac-
ticing NFP does not automatically lead to
a monthly honeymoon experience. Prac-
ticing NFP doesn’t always keep your rela-
tionship “fresh, fun, and flirty.” Sometimes
it adds stress. It doesn’t automatically make
you closer as a couple. And practicing the
method is not always easy.
We’ve learned that not every menstrual
cycle is alike—among different women or
even for the same individual. Stress can
cause variation from month to month. Some
women have short fertile windows, some
long. Some have clear biomarkers, while
others highly complicated or unclear mark-
ers. Some women have other health condi-
tions that affect using NFP. Some methods
work well for some couples, other couples
struggle to find the right method. Some
NFP problems are biological and others are
deeper problems within the marriage. Some
couples face indefinite periods of absti-
nence because biomarkers are inconsistent,
and a pregnancy could be disastrous.
Still, the message remains the same.
NFP is good for couples, but not in the
sense that a particular method or the con-
cept of NFP will automatically bring in-
dividuals closer. NFP is good for couples
because the very nature of its difficulty, if
borne with the mind of Christ, becomes the
vehicle to conjugal holiness. Pope Paul VI
states in Humanae Vitae:
The honest practice of regulation of births
demands first of all that husband and wife
acquire and possess solid convictions con-
cerning the true values of life and of the
family, and that they tend towards securing
perfect self-mastery. To dominate instinct
by means of one’s reason and free will un-
doubtedly require ascetical practices, so
that the affective manifestations of conju-
gal life may observe the correct order, in
particular with regard to the observance of
periodic continence (HV, no. 21).
Thus, our “marketing” shouldn’t paint
the idyllic picture of effortless joy by fol-
lowing a particular method. We shouldn’t
spend our pastoral energies trying to soften
the message that, in reality, is the message
of the Cross—as the Christian message al-
ways is—and that joy, peace, and serenity
are real, but come from embracing the self-
mastery Pope Paul described. Our pastoral
energy should be directed toward serving as
Simons of Cyrene, accompanying couples
as they carry their crosses, with the appro-
priate gentleness and sensitivity.
In Amoris Laetitia, Pope Francis alludes
to this aspect of pastoral activity when he
states, “the initial years of marriage are a
vital and sensitive period during which
couples become more aware of the chal-
lenges and meaning of married life. Con-
sequently, pastoral accompaniment needs
to go beyond the actual celebration of the
sacrament” (AL, no. 223).
In the Diocese of Lansing, we are try-
ing to be those Simons of Cyrene: being
real with couples and helping them carry
their crosses. One key way is to educate in
non-sexual intimacy; thus, when a couple
must abstain, they can continue intimacy.
We have a full-time diocesan NFP director
who is well-trained in all the NFP methods.
We have also invested in intensive training
for doctors, nurses, and consultants who
assist couples with practical application or
help pinpoint the reason for dif